Page 85 of Ignited

It was followed by a number of dark figures, yelling at each other in whispers.

“Over here.”

“No, it’s better in the middle.”

“There’s no outlets there!”

“For fuck’s sake,” DB whispered. “Make up your minds. I can’t hold this thing in the air forever.”

Finally they settled on a spot. Karisma grabbed the end of the string of lights and plugged them in. They sprang to life, red and blue, yellow and green, twinkling among the tinsel and decorations.

There was more shuffling and muffled giggles as items were arranged underneath, and then they all stepped back through the portal, which closed behind them.

After they were gone, a dark figure moved out of the shadows on the landing, and glided down the stairs. The tree was decorated with a mix of shiny round ornaments, as well as dozens of glittery objects, primarily miniature rubber duckies.

Under the tree were two piles of presents. Two identical large square dress boxes, one in each pile. Two identical smaller flat boxes. And one of the piles had a heavy, bulky square package on top.

The tag on the smaller pile read, “Sugar.”

And the one on the larger pile read, “Big T.”

Thanatos began with the small flat box. It contained a pair of fuzzy socks, with dancing elves on them.

The large dress box contained dozens of Breanna Carter’s famous chocolate chip cookies.

And the square, bulky box contained a snow globe.

It was a Christmas scene—a cartoon village with a mountain behind it, a circle of small figures, and a large green monster.

He turned it over and shook it, making the snow whirl around. When he turned it upright again, a small heart shape lit up in the green monster’s chest, then a larger one, and then a larger one still. A tinny voice proclaimed, “And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say—that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.”

Tiny voices began to sing. “Fahoo fores dahoo dores, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day…”

Thanatos turned away from the tree, taking the pile of packages with him. He was nearly to the stairs when he turned around.

Those ornaments. Glitter ducks, and…

He want back and looked. Yes, yes they were. Tiny, glitter-covered dicks.

Epilogue

It was New Year’s Eve, and the entire Outlaw Ridge pack was out at the testing field, watching Boomer and his crew’s annual fireworks display. He was at the end of the main display, the finale of which was a complicated sequence ending in the shape of an erect dick.

There were cheers and catcalls when it appeared in the sky.

“Wait for it…” he murmured.

And then the silver sparklies burst out the top of it. “Sparkler spermatozoa,” he said to Karisma. She was jumping up and down and cheering at the top of the voice. Also laughing her ass off.

He loved seeing her so happy. And he had to admit, he’d outdone himself this year. But he wasn’t done yet.

“Watch this one,” he said to Karisma. “This is the best.”

“It’s not over?” she said. “I thought that was the end.”

“Nope. There’s a really special one still coming. Hah. Coming. See what I did there?”

He led her over to the last few lines of fireworks, carefully set up and double- and triple-checked. “Ready?”