Page 66 of Rescued

They walked down the mountainside, Bree holding the flashlight so she could see her way. He made sure to take her by the easiest path, staying close to her side, ready to support her if she started to lose her footing.

She kept glancing down at him, and about halfway down she tentatively reached out her hand and rested it on his neck ruff. She kept it there the rest of the way to the cabin.

Once inside, he turned human and put on some pants, then built up the fire in the woodstove and made her a cup of tea.

He started to sit in the chair, but Breanna scowled at him and pointed to the couch next to her. “Don’t try that lone wolf shit on me tonight,” she said. “I need snuggles.”

He gave a little laugh in spite of himself, and came and sat beside her on the couch. She curled up against him, making him hold her tea while she spread a blanket over them both.

It was perfect. Until she took her tea mug back and said, “Now, tell me about this PTSD.”

He started to say I don’t have PTSD, but he only got as far as “I don’t—” before she said, “Nuh-uh. Truth. Don’t make me pour my hot tea in your crotch.”

She probably would, too. And hell, why not admit it? It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen it in action.

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. It soothed him.

He said, “There’s not much to tell. Back when I was about thirteen, after my mom died, I was on the streets for a long time. There was this girl, a little older than me. Alice. I used to look out for her, steal food for us and fight bullies and pimps. With my shifter strength, I got a rep, and people didn’t mess with us much.

“But then this one day, I wasn’t around, and some of the street girls were taken by guys we didn’t know. Alice was one.”

He could still feel the guilt and disbelief. He’d tried so hard. Why wasn’t he there? He should have been there. He could have saved her.

“They moved the girls out of the area. I looked for her for a long time. Years, off and on. But when I finally found her…” He shook his head. “There was almost nothing left of the girl I knew. Drugs, prostitution—she was just a shell of who she used to be. And she wouldn’t leave her pimp. Wouldn’t leave her life. I was so angry, that she wouldn’t try. But now…”

He sighed. “Over the years I’ve seen too many people who are so far gone they can’t come back. They can’t ever be even close to normal again. I think maybe… she was one of those.”

He had one arm wrapped around Breanna’s waist as she snuggled into his shoulder, and she rested her hand on his. “I’m sorry.” She stroked the back of his hand. “Is that what gives you the panic?”

He took a deep breath. “Not exactly. I was more… angry. And… feeling like a failure. And then, about six months ago, I was on this mission. Not with Outlaw Ridge—it was a private security company working a family abduction. They went in to extract the victims—thought they could do it safely, and avoid the risk of a ransom situation. I was just supposed to be the pilot.”

He sighed. “Extraction turned out to be a bad call. The place where they were being kept was wired with explosives, and the detonator went into countdown. I went in with the explosives team, because of my electronics knowledge. We tried so damn hard to disarm the devices. We almost made it.”

Breanna put her hand to her mouth. “Oh, no. Were there kids?”

“Yeah. The guy who hired us—his wife and kids were killed in the explosion. I could see them through a window, struggling to get out of their bonds. One of them was a teenage girl who looked a little like Alice. Not a lot, really. But when they didn’t make it…”

“It brought everything back.”

“Yeah. All that anger, and frustration, and… the futility. All the people I’ve saved, and I can’t forget those two. Because they were counting on me, and then… kaboom. Dead, or worse than.”

“You know it’s not your fault.” He didn’t say anything, and she added, “But that doesn’t help, does it?”

He shook his head. “I started having nightmares, panic attacks, and I’d get the shakes. Really bad. And if I can’t get my hands to work right, I can’t do any of the things I’m good at. Flying. Electronics. And I especially can’t risk having a panic attack in the air.”

“Is that what happened today? The explosion brought everything back?”

“Yeah. I just barely held off the panic until we landed.”

“But you did hold it off. You came through for the team. All the ones you were responsible for were safe.”

“Yeah, but what about the next time?”

Breanna said, “Have you seen anyone? You know, like a therapist?” She frowned. “Do they have shifter therapists?”

He gave a little huff of laughter. “Yes, kind of. And yes, I saw a healer. They said it would get better over time.”

“And did it?”