Page 78 of Brandon’s Mate

“We’re heading back,” Brandon said. “See you in a few.”

They signed off and started packing up the truck. Kitty asked, “Are you going to try to take Raines out at this meeting?”

Brandon bit his lip, thinking. “It’s a possibility. If I can get the opportunity, and if I’m sure he’s the one ultimately behind the hit on Nick. But he may be too well protected. We need to plan for every scenario—getting us out of an ambush, extracting us if we manage to get Raines, and how we’re going to handle it if it is a legit meet but there’s no way to take out Raines.”

They drove back to the house, and Brandon cooked breakfast while they discussed specifics and weapons, including explosives to cause distractions and possibly deal with large numbers of enemies.

Colt got busy finding quick sources for any weapons and ordinance they didn’t already have. When they finished, Kitty pulled Brandon out onto the porch.

“I need to talk to you alone,” she murmured.

As soon as the door closed behind them, he pulled her in for a kiss. She melted into him for a moment, letting the feelings wash over her.

He pulled back. “I wish I could take you into the meet. We should be fighting side by side.” He kissed her again. “But knowing you’re doing overwatch is the next best thing.”

The feeling in her stomach got worse.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” She took a deep breath, shame washing over her. “I don’t think I should go at all.”

Brandon stepped back, looking down into her eyes. “Why not?” He tweaked her hair. “I thought you came all the way here to protect my sorry ass.” His tone was light, but there was a tinge of hurt and confusion underneath it.

She looked away, not wanting to see the disappointment in his face. “We’re going to need someone here to monitor the bugs in the bar, in case Caleb decides to do anything crazy while you’re out there. Or in case Jax calls the crows in as backup.”

His fingers stroked her shoulder absently. “That’s a good point.” She was just starting to breathe a sigh of relief when he said quietly, “Why really?”

Dammit.

She sighed. “Because of Monster Wolf. If things really go sideways—if I’m in serious danger—it will come out. After that, I’m no good to you. I can’t control it, and it doesn’t care who it kills or who dies, just as long as it survives. As long as I survive. It might even kill you or one of the twins, if it thinks that will help.”

She bit back the shame and frustration. “I want to have your back so bad, Brandon. That’s what I came here to do. But now, knowing that your lives might be on the line, I can’t trust myself.”

Brandon tilted his head until his forehead rested on hers. “I believe in you,” he said softly.

She shook her head. “I don’t believe in myself. And I can’t take the chance. It’s better if I’m back here, where I can’t hurt anyone.”

She waited while he thought things through. Finally he said, “Okay. When this is over we’ll work out this Monster Wolf thing—what it wants and who it will listen to. If your mom and Flynn could trust your dad in spite of his monster, we can figure out how to do the same.”

A tiny seed of hope blossomed in her.

“In the meantime, I’ll tell the guys we need someone to monitor the crows, and you volunteered.”

When they brought it up to the twins, they both got identical speculative frowns on their faces. They looked at each other, and then Remy said to Kitty, “If only one of us is going, it should be you. Your wolf needs to look out for Brandon.”

Kitty shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense. You can fly, so we need you for surveillance. And you also have sniper skills that I don’t have. If only one of us is going, it needs to be you.”

The boys looked at each other again in that way they had, like they were communicating without words.

Brandon said, “The decision’s been made. Remy goes, and Kitty stays here.”

The twins looked at him, and then back at each other. Remy shrugged. “Whatever you say. You’re the alleged alpha of this alleged crew.”

Colt elbowed him. “What?” Remy said. “Nobody’s pledged to anybody.”

“Yet,” Colt said.

Kitty sighed. That was another thing they were going to have to work out when all this was over. She and Brandon both had to figure out how to trust themselves—and how to be worthy of other people’s trust.

Chapter 33