Page 47 of Bad Blood Bear

“I was scared, and I was hurt,” she said finally, in a low whisper. “What we did in the shower felt like more than just sex. I felt—for the first time in maybe ever, I felt like someone really cared about me. That you saw me for who I was, and you liked that.”

Lissa paused, trying to push words past her uncomfortable feelings. It was so hard to open up, even when she was basically talking to herself. “Then you got distant, and wouldn’t talk to me, and I felt so alone. Ashamed, and stupid, like I should have seen that you didn’t really want to be with me like that.”

She took a deep breath. “I see now that I was pushing you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. This is all new and scary for me, and I needed…I don’t know. I needed to feel like I mattered—me, Lissa. Not Lissa the problem bear.” That was part of it, but not all of it. “I needed you,” she whispered. “And I know you don’t need me the same way, and that scares the hell out of me.”

She was petting the bear as she talked, loving the feel of his warm fur. Suddenly the fur rippled under her hand. She sat back, startled, hearing the cracking of bones, and then Tank sat in front of her, his back to her and his knees drawn up to his chest, as if he were trying to disappear.

“Tank?” she whispered. She reached out and touched his broad, muscular back, as warm as the bear. He’d been listening to her after all. How much had he heard?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, not raising his head. “I almost hurt you. I came so close to clawing you when I Changed. You could have been killed, and I couldn’t stop myself in time.”

Lissa inched forward and laid her head on his back, her hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t, though,” she said. “You didn’t hurt me. And then you came back to protect me.”

He nodded. After a long silence, he said, “I’m sorry I made you feel ashamed. It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s just…liking you brings up all these other feelings and thoughts and memories, and I thought I could handle it all but I can’t. You get my bear upset, but he can’t stay away from you either. I just want to feel…” He shook his head, forehead still on his knees. “I don’t even know.”

He wanted to feel safe, and normal, and strong, and brave.

Lissa stroked his back. “Come inside,” she said. “Come inside and sleep next to me. I need you to make me feel safe.”

She couldn’t believe she was asking an out-of-control grizzly shifter to sleep next to her, but somehow it felt right.

He took a few deep breaths, and then he nodded. “Okay.”

She rose to her feet, and Tank got up too, looking unutterably weary. As Lissa turned to go into the house, she caught a glimpse of a white shape rising from the shadows at the edge of the forest.

A white leopard. Sloan. He’d been out here too, watching, making sure she and Tank were both okay, ready to step in if something went wrong.

He gazed at her for a moment, his eyes shining in the dark. Then he dipped his head once, as if in approval, before ghosting off into the night.

Lissa led Tank back into the tiny house and climbed up into the loft. She slid under the covers and waited, and after a moment’s hesitation Tank slid in behind her. He wrapped both arms around her, cuddling her against his chest, and let out a long sigh.

Warmth spread through her, and she fell asleep surrounded by the scent of fur and sunlit forest.