Page 26 of Bad Blood Panther

What he cared about was that Jenny had only tracked him down when she wanted something.

Munching on his stupid damned glitter rabbit, letting him kiss her—all that. She was just using him. Because why else would she come here, and snuggle up to him like he was some romantic hero?

Hell no. He wasn’t going to let her set him and his panther up for that kind of epic failure.

Half the crew had paraded up onto the porch. Brody and Caitlyn were splinting up Jaz’s arm. Tank was hovering, stuck between staying and making sure Jaz was all right, and going after Lissa because he never could handle it when she was upset.

Maybe being mated wasn’t quite so awesome as he’d imagined it to be. Despite the constant supply of sex.

Jenny was watching it all, still looking all judgy and shit. Like they were some kind of monsters. Well, they were.

This is what you’re signing up for, Babe. Sure you want in?

“Come on,” he said, tugging on her arm. “You and I have some talking to do.”

She pulled back. “Aren’t you going to see if Jasmin is okay?”

“She’s fine,” he said gruffly. “It pisses her off if everybody crowds around making cooing noises. Come on.”

Jenny looked hurt and upset, which stabbed him in the heart, which pissed him off more. At least she followed him. He led her down a path into the woods—the one that led to the cliff where Sloan had almost died, like, half a dozen times. He hated the place just for that, which was why he was going there.

He didn’t want to have this conversation in some place he liked, and then never want to go back there again.

He didn’t make it all the way to the cliff, though. Everything was too pent up, and he had to get it out. He stopped and faced Jenny.

“Why did you really come here?” he demanded. “What do you want from me?”

She flinched and took a step back, looking shocked. His panther didn’t like scaring her, but Xander didn’t care right now. This was important.

“I—I told you,” she said. “Broken Hill is a wreck. I need someplace to go. You were the only person I could think of…”

“It’s been almost three years, Jenny,” he said. “Three fucking years. Cindi ripped my whole life away with one bite, and the rest of you just stood by and let her do it.”

He took a step toward her, and she backed away again. “And then I had this crazy animal in me. I didn’t even know shifters existed, and suddenly this panther is raging out of me, and I can’t control it.”

He raked his fingers through his hair. He’d tried for so long not to think about this, not to let it really sink in, but she was bringing it all back. Damn her.

“Do you have any idea what it was like?” he asked. “Like being possessed by a demon. I lost my job, because I couldn’t control my temper. I couldn’t control my Changes. I loved that job.”

He’d been the assistant manager of a sporting goods store. Maybe not the apex of everybody’s dreams, but he’d loved camping and hiking and kayaking and all that shit, and he loved figuring out ways to get more people into it, making sure they had the right equipment. Getting kids and families outside instead of staring at their fucking screens all day.

Her friends had taken that away. And so much more.

“I lost my family,” he said in a low voice. “I tried to go see my parents. I tried to tell them what happened to me, and I couldn’t handle it. I lost my shit and put my father up against the wall. I almost killed him. I haven’t seen them since. I was too scared, and then I was too ashamed. And then I learned that if I told them about my panther, they could get their memories blurred, or even get killed by the Council.”

He shook his head. “So there I am, no family, no friends, no job. Changing half a dozen times a day, trying to drink myself into oblivion in between. I ripped up my entire apartment, and almost went through the fucking wall and killed my neighbor when his music was too loud.”

She put her hand out as if to touch him, but he couldn’t deal with that. Not now. “I had to keep moving from motel to motel after that. Picking ones with cinder block walls so I couldn’t smash through. Hoping I didn’t break down the door and run out and kill somebody.”

“I didn’t know all that,” she said. “Not until—”

“Nope. You didn’t know. Nobody helped me. None of your goddamn crew fucking gave me the time of day. Except Cindi, and seeing her just made me crazier. How the hell could you all do that—let her put this monster in me and then leave me on my own?”

The remembered feelings sledgehammered into him, the force of them almost bringing him to his knees. The rage, the terror, the awful, crippling sense of abandonment and isolation.

Jenny was just staring at him, her eyes wide, her face a mix of pity and horror.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that!” he shouted. “You were supposed to be my friend. Why didn’t you try to help me?”