Page 85 of Freefall

“When I asked you last year if you still thought about her…” She studies my face. “It was Harper.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t know about the kid.”

It’s not a question, but I answer anyway. “No.”

She slows to a stop, bending over with her hands braced on her knees as she catches her breath. “Shit,” she mutters between breaths. “I thought I could do this.”

She drops onto the curb, kicking her legs out in front of her. I sit down next to her.

“I saw the picture of you and the kid over her shoulder,” she admits. Her breath is still coming out in shallow spurts. “The rest wasn’t hard to figure out. Harper asked me not to tell Em, but Nate… you, of all people, know I can’t keep secrets from her.”

“I know.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Her blue eyes are shining now, only slightly less intense than usual.

“I’ll handle it.” I glance down at the pavement. “I’ll tell Emory. I just need some time.”

“I gave Harper a week.”

“How generous.”

“I thought so.” We’re both silent for a moment. “She’s really pretty.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you…with her again?”

“It’s complicated.”

She snorts. “That’s exactly what she said.”

“We’re not in a relationship if that’s what you’re asking.”

She gives me a knowing nod. “So you’re fucking her.”

Once again, it’s not a question, but this time I don’t respond. It doesn’t matter. My silence is louder than any words I could come up with.

“Look, Nate. I’m going to say something, and I’m not saying it to make you feel guilty.” Allie’s voice is uncharacteristically soft as she glances out at the empty road in front of us. “Please don’t mess with that little girl.” Her breathing has finally evened out, but there’s a catch in her throat when she speaks again. “That was me.”

The words land like a sucker punch to the gut, and shame instantly coats my stomach. I don’t know every detail of Allie’s childhood, but I know enough. Her dad walked out on her before she was old enough to remember him, leaving her mom to raise her alone. But that’s not what this is. I didn’t leave my daughter. I didn’t even know she existed.

“Allie.” My voice comes out rougher than I expect. “The last thing in the world I want is to hurt Daisy.” I scrub a hand over my face. “I don’t even know how it’s possible to love someone so much when you’ve only known them for a few weeks.”

It’s not a lie. It may have happened to me once before, but I’m still not sure how it’s possible.

Her expression softens. “I think that’s called being a good parent.”

I stare across the street, letting her words sink in. Then, because Allie is incapable of being emotional for too long, she knocks her knee against mine.

“So…” she says, a smug smile curling her lips. “Are you giving away all your kinky shit because she’s not into it? Is Nate Caldwell actually having vanilla sex?”

“Allie.”

“What?”

“I thought we agreed after the last…incident that we would keep our sex lives private.”