Page 107 of Freefall

“Where are you going?”

Her shoulders sag, a slight hint of regret swirling among the green and gold in her eyes. “Home.” She swallows. “I need to take care of a few things.” Then, as if she hasn’t already ripped my heart out, she says it again. “I really think we could both use some space.”

God, I hate that fucking word. Suddenly, my throat feels like it’s closing and my lungs fight to pump out air. I can’t breathe. Why can’t I fucking breathe?

She reaches for her shower caddy, dropping it into the bag, and something inside me snaps. The edges of my vision blur. It doesn’t even feel like my body anymore. Like it’s someone else’s hands reaching out to grab the bag, dumping everything out onto the floor. Someone else throwing it across the room like a child having a temper tantrum. Someone else watching as his girlfriend’s eyes go wide when he crouches down to her level and grabs her chin.

“So what?” I snap. “You’re just gonna run away?”

“Nate.” Her voice is almost a whisper, and it’s shaking. I hate that it’s shaking. I hate that I did that. My name shouldn’t sound like that coming out of her mouth. It’s all wrong. “You’re scaring me.”

The words don’t just shock me; they stab a hole in my fucking chest. Everything crashes back at once. Jackie Norway and her bloody lip. Taylor. My bruised fists. Luke dragging me off him.

That’s enough, Nate. You’re going to kill him.

I let go of her like her skin is scalding, and my hands fall uselessly to my sides.

No, no, no, no.

I don’t lose control.

I can’t.

Because when I do, I can’t seem to get it back.

“Then leave.” The words scrape my throat on the way out. “But don’t bother coming back.” I force myself to look at her. “It’s your choice.”

“Nate…” This time there’s no fear in her voice as her eyes meet mine. Only sadness. She drops to her knees, picking up the empty duffel bag and slowly gathering everything I dumped out. When she’s finished, she slips the bag over her shoulder and walks to the door, but stops just past the threshold.

Even after everything we just said—after she broke my heart and I scared her—I can’t stop myself.

“If you’d just told me where you were…” My voice cracks. “I would have come.”

Sweat beads across my forehead as my eyes snap open. For one terrifying second, I forget where I am. Then I turn my head, and there she is, warm against my chest, her slow, steady breaths brushing over my arm. This is why nightmares are better. I’d rather wake up from a nightmare with her in my arms than from the best dream of my life clutching an empty bed.

Only it wasn’t a nightmare. The fight. The duffel bag. The look on her face when she said those words.

You’re scaring me.

It was a memory I’d tried hard to bury in the back of my mind until tonight, when I finally told her I was sorry. She'd already been drifting off to sleep. I don’t even know if she heard me, or if it matters anymore.

Careful not to disturb her, I reach for my phone on the nightstand. It’s almost one a.m. What we did tonight was intense, and I know she’s probably crashing. She needs sleep. But I also know Harper, and no matter what I say, she’ll want to be home before morning in case Daisy needs her.

I set my phone back on the nightstand. She shifts beside me, mumbling something I can’t make out before burrowing deeper into the pillow.

“Dani,” I whisper, but she doesn’t move.

I brush a strand of hair from her face. “Baby, it’s time to wake up.”

One eye cracks open. “What time is it?”

“Almost one.”

“Shit,” she groans, rubbing her face. “Is it possible to have so many orgasms that you forget where you are? Because I…”

All at once, she blinks herself fully awake. “Oh my God.” She bolts upright and presses a hand to her forehead. “Daisy…”

“She’s fine.”