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Stanley chuckled and came to stand beside me. “She is,” he said fondly. “So, you look kind of queasy. What’s the skinny?”

“I saw Ren tonight. He spoke to me.”

“Far out. Did he apologize?” He sat up on the counter beside me.

“No, the whole thing was kind of weird, honestly.” I glanced over at him. “He took one of the wolves back to his place.”

He winced. “I’m sorry. That boy is blind to everything but his own pain right now. You can’t take it to heart.”

Stanley was the only person I could talk to about how I felt. He was also a great listener. “I know, and I get it. But being in love with someone who will never love you back seriously sucks. I wish there was a way…”

“A way to what?”

“Take it all away, these feelings I have for him. To rip them out of me.”

“Don’t wish that, Jazzy. Love, heartbreak, it’s how you know you’re alive, and life is a beautiful thing.”

I shook my head. “I can’t imagine you and Else together. You’re such a romantic and she’s—”

“Fierce.”

“Yep.”

He grinned and hopped down from the counter. “I wasn’t all sunshine and roses when I was alive, Jaz. I just see things differently now, you know? I don’t need to fight or rage. I just need to be here, for Else. Speaking of…” He held his finger to his lips and turned to the door.

A few seconds later, Else limped in. Her soft, silver hair was disheveled, and she was in her fuzzy yellow slippers that made her feet look like giant baby chicks and a matching robe.

“Hey, pumpkin. You and Zinny have a good night? What was the movie?”

“We did. Romancing the Stone.”

She cackled. “The hounds would’ve loved that.”

“I’m not entirely sure what they thought of it, though the consensus was orgasms are good. I’m sure they had more to say during it, but I fell asleep early on.”

She laughed. “I’m not surprised. You and Zinny have been burning the candle at both ends.” She motioned to my mug. “You want one of my elixirs to help you sleep?”

“Thanks, Else, but I’m fine. I think I’ll read for a bit.”

“Okay, pumpkin.” She filled her glass. “See you in the morning.”

She walked out and Stan waved to me before he shifted into a beautiful black cat and followed her. He only really left her side when she was asleep, and even then he didn’t go far.

I finished making my hot chocolate, pressed the lid on the mug, and despite what I told Else, I had no intention of going to bed, not yet.

It may only be early autumn, but it was already chilly, so I tugged on a coat and slipped out the door, grabbing the small gardening shovel sticking out of the veggie patch as I passed.

I tucked the shovel under my arm and sipped my cocoa as I headed down the street. Sliding my hand in the pocket of my hoodie, I wrapped my hand around the Nerds box. She’d been a joyous one, my little mourning cloak, filled with light and warmth. They all had their own personalities and this sweet girl had sent a constant flow of loving energy my way the last month. I was going to miss her so much.

I tried to stop myself from turning toward Ren’s place as I passed. The mortuary was closed, obviously, but lights were on in his apartment below. The curtains were drawn, but I saw someone move behind them, then stop. And I realized I had as well, my feet just ceasing to carry me forward. It was Ren. His broad shoulders and tapered waist were perfectly outlined.

Then there was another outline right there with him, so close they’d morphed into one.

I quickly turned away. I didn’t want to see, didn’t want to know what they did together. I didn’t need that in my head, and I forced my feet to keep moving. It was like my heart was constantly being hit by aftershocks, opening new wounds with every one. I’d tried to use my power to heal it, but when it came to Ren, it couldn’t even come close. As soon as I smoothed one painful, jagged wound, another opened.

Shoving him from my mind, I focused on what I was doing out here.

The field was just ahead. In a couple of months, all the wildflowers would be gone, and the oak trees dotted around would drop their leaves. We had a field similar to this behind the house, beside our cemetery, but that one didn’t have as many trees, and butterflies seemed to love it here.