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We lay there panting, still clinging to each other. Both of us were still dressed, our clothes damp with sweat and stuck to our skin. I kissed her neck, her jaw, and looked down at her beautiful face. She stared back at me, and there was a guarded look in her eyes that I fucking hated. “This isn’t…I didn’t come here for this, I—”
“It’s okay,” she said again, her fingers brushing my jaw. “It felt right. Please, don’t question it.”
“What happens now?”
She shook her head against the pillow. “I don’t know.” Her gaze searched mine. “I wish this changed things…”
She trailed off because it didn’t, not for her. I was so in love with her my heart felt as if it might burst, but nothing had changed for her. Not one thing.
“I wanted to…to give you this before I leave,” she said, staring at my chin.
It was like she’d punched me in the stomach. “Leave?” I grabbed her chin and shook her. “A pity fuck before you leave me? That’s what that was?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. I wanted you. I never really stopped wanting you that way, even after…”
“Even after you took what was mine and cut it out of you? Even after you stole our future from us and tossed it away. And now you’re going to bail. Leave me here like I don’t exist?” I snarled. “Find someone else you can love? Is that it?”
She pushed at my chest, and I had no choice but to get off her even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I stood, stuffed myself back in my jeans, and did them up. Jasmine sat up, returning to the position she’d been in when I walked in here. Knees up, her arms wrapped around them. I could smell us, our come, the tinge of blood because my mate was a virgin until a few minutes ago, and instead of tending to her like my fox and I both wanted to do fucking desperately, she was pushing us away.
“I did that, and I’ll own it,” she said. “But I truly thought you’d never love me back. I never would have done what I did otherwise. I’m leaving for you, to make it easier on you. I don’t want to hurt you, Ren. You’ve been hurt enough already. You should be with someone who can love you like you deserve.”
I was breathing hard, my blood pumping through me so fucking fast I felt dizzy. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I’m not giving up on you, on us. Not fucking ever. You leave me, I will follow you. I will always follow you.”
Then I turned and walked out the door, before I snatched her from that bed and kept her anyway.
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter 28
Jasmine
* * *
“I hate seeing you like this, Jazzy girl,” Stanley said from his spot at the end of my bed.
I dragged my hand across my face, wiping away my stupid tears. “I hurt him, Stan, so badly. I never wanted that. I did it because I loved him, because I didn’t want to hurt him, and I did it anyway.”
He dropped down to an elbow, lying across the mattress. “You didn’t know he was your mate. It’s not your fault, sweets.” Sympathy filled his eyes. “And that male was so closed off, there was no way you could’ve known.”
There was an ache between my thighs, reminding me of what I did with Ren. I’d wanted him. I’d never stopped wanting him that way, but all I’d done was make it worse. I’d meant it to be a goodbye, I guess. But giving myself to him like I did had been selfish, and I’d made everything worse.
“Do you like him?” Stan asked.
“Yes, of course.”
He smirked. “You obviously think he’s hot.”
My face heated. “Obviously.”
“Maybe you don’t need to love him to be with him, not at first? You’re mates, that connection has its own magic. That bond can break spells and fight evil, it can bring people back to life and heal wounds…it can even break down barriers. I don’t know much about foxes or how they mate, I assume by marking? Do you know for sure that mating properly won’t change things between you? This Xavier guy blocked your love for Ren, but does that mean you can’t fall in love with him all over again? Plenty of people have mated first and fallen in love later. Not everyone knows their intended mates for years before they’re thrown in their path. Iris and Draven are a perfect example of that.”
I blinked over at Stan, my heart doing a giant thump in my chest. “I…don’t know.”
“Well, before you pull up stakes and leave us all in the dust, don’t you think you should find out?”
I chewed my lip. “You think he’ll want to try?”
He gave me a look like I was a complete idiot. “Uh…yeah. You’re all he’s thinking about, Jaz, I promise you that.” He tilted his head to the side. “I know you don’t feel it anymore, but do you remember how it felt to be in love with him?”
