Page 41 of Breaking Him

“I can remember hiding in the cornfields, my mother screaming for him to quit hurting her… I used to hear them all the time, Abi, those screams. Long after both of them were gone. They’d echo through my mind when I closed my eyes.” His eyes drifted shut for a moment, then they were back on me. “You made them go away, angel, you did that… Jesus, you made me feel human again.”

“Elijah,” I choked out. I tried to scoot across the seat, to get closer to him, but he shook his head. I bit my lip and stayed where I was, but it hurt not to touch him. “Eli, please. What’s going on?” Though I thought I already knew, and it was tearing me apart inside.

He held my gaze. There was so much behind his dark eyes, so much anguish, it was hard to keep looking at him. He reached out and brushed his thumb over my cheek. “You can’t love me, Abigail.”

My breath seized in my chest. “What?”

“This…” He pointed to the rundown cottage that was once his home. “This is where I come from. It’s what I am…and it’s all they’ll ever see.” He kept touching my face. “Cassie was right. I’m no good for you. I never was, and I never will be. I’ll only fail you…just like I failed my mother.”

“No.” The word exploded from my mouth, and I shook my head. “You were just a little boy. You didn’t fail anyone…and I don’t care what they think… I—”

“Everyone in this town loves you. You’ve suffered enough pain in your life already, losing both your parents. After what you’ve given me, I can’t stand by and watch them make you an outcast as well. Do nothing while they turn their backs on you. I won’t.”

I reached up, gripped his wrist, and held on tight. “I don’t care what any of them think. I don’t care about any of them…”

“Someone as bright and beautiful as you…” He cleared his throat. “I won’t be the reason the sunshine fades in your eyes, sweetheart. I never want you to go through what you did in town again, not because of me. You love people. You love your friends. You’ll lose every one of them, all the people you care about, if you’re with me. You need to deny it…”

“No!”

“Abi…”

“No,” I said again. “You can’t tell me not to love you. You can’t.” My heart ached like it was cracking in my chest. “You mean more to me than all of them put together. I promised. I promised you I wouldn’t let them tear us apart, and I meant every word.”

He didn’t answer, stayed quiet at my side for the longest time. His silence saying more than any words could. We were at an impasse. He wasn’t backing down, and neither was I.

Finally, he started the truck and we headed for home.

It took every ounce of strength I had not to fall to pieces. Not to crawl into his lap, wrap myself around him, and never let go. He hadn’t said it, but in my gut I knew he was planning to leave Deep River. For me. Because he had some misguided notion that it was for the best, that my life would be better without him. Just the idea of his leaving, of never seeing him again…of not waking up every morning to Eli by my side, shredded me. Broke me. I couldn’t…I wouldn’t allow it.

I’d told him I loved him, but the man still didn’t fully understand what that meant to me.

But he would.

And if I couldn’t convince him to stay…

I’d leave it all behind. I’d go with him.

Chapter Fourteen

I stared out the window. A few clouds were dotting the sky, but that bright sun was still there, beating down. I dropped the lace curtain and went to my closet. A storm was gathering, I felt it in my bones. But there was no way it could match the one stirring inside me. Elijah and I had spent the night together, but he was still being quiet, distant, and it was tearing me apart. All evening I’d caught him watching my every move, that silent contemplation, that deep longing in his eyes—those goddamn lips firmly shut. I hated it.

If he thought I’d just let him walk out of my life without a fight, he had another think coming.

I slipped my feet in my yellow flip-flops, straightened my favorite white sundress, then dragged a brush through my hair. I was on a mission this morning, and Elijah was coming along for the ride, whether he wanted to or not.

I strode out of the house toward the truck and, opening the driver’s door, flung my bag in. As expected, Eli stopped working on the fence he was repairing a short distance away, dropped his tools, and headed toward me.

I offered up a bright smile as he neared.

He motioned to the truck. “What are you doing?”

“Heading into town.” My heart started beating a little faster, but I refused to let him see how nervous I was.

His brow scrunched. “Why?”

“I forgot a few things the other day.”

He reached out, hand going to my hip, fingers curling into the fabric, like he could physically stop me from going. I guess he could, if he really wanted to. Well, he could try, anyway.