Page 76 of When a Soul Cries

“I’m asking.”

She stared toward the coffee table. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.”

Her lips pressed together.

I waited.

Finally, she whispered, “A while.”

That shit hurt.

I looked away before my face gave me away.

A while.

While I was laughing with her.

While I was picking up Halo.

While I was sending her stupid videos.

While I was telling her to go eat with that man.

My best friend had been scared she was about to lose the roof over her daughter’s head, and I hadn’t even known enough to ask the right questions.

“You make me sick,” I muttered.

Sol lifted her head slightly. “What?”

I looked down at her.

“You heard me.”

Even exhausted, she managed to give me a look.

I shook my head. “You make me sick because you really sat up here acting normal while all this shit was happening.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Tell me.”

“And then what?”

“Then we figure it the fuck out.”

She pushed herself upright.

There was no fight in her this time. Just exhaustion.

“You can’t fix everything, Zari.”

My mouth closed.

If only she knew.

I looked away.