Page 1
Chapter 1
Ifeel like the dumbass who dies first in a horror movie. I’m stumbling through dark woodland, totally lost. Wind whispers eerily through the branches. Twigs crackle, making me jump. My phone flashlight barely penetrates the inky blackness. I walk faster, telling myself I’m not scared. Big lie. It’s almost Halloween. Spooky season. It would take a braver man than me to be calm right now. Those whispers in the breeze sound almost like a voice now. Like my name. Ash… Ash…
Fuck my life. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to go hiking alone? If I get home safe, I’m never leaving the city again.
“Ash,” the voice whispers again. It sounds really close this time. Someone or something is right behind me. I feel a puff of hot breath on my neck.
“Shit!” I screech, jumping a mile in the air.
There’s a very human chuckle. I almost die on the spot. Someone is here. I knew it. I bet it’s some creepy Halloween murderer. Maybe they come to these woods every year for sport. Maybe this year, they’re going to add me to their collection of victims…
“Who’s there?” I shout, rummaging in my backpack. “I have a can of deodorant and I’m not afraid to use it!”
I shine my phone flashlight, hand shaking. A man appears in the quivering glow. I can’t see his face clearly but he’s huge, with shoulders like a barn door. Then another giant shape appears. There are two of them? I’m so screwed. They come closer and I smell smoke. Confusion tempers my terror. It’s not like any cigarette smoke I’ve ever smelt. It’s not weed either. It’s more like a roaring open fire, but there’s a vibrant note in it. Almost alive.
“Hi there,” I squeak, sounding about thirteen years old.
“Hi there, yourself.” Shape one sounds incongruously perky. “I’m Dayton, but you can call me Day. This here is Legend.”
“Cool names,” I say, hoping to buy some goodwill.
“My mom knew I’d be a legend long before I hurtled down that birth canal,” says a second voice.
Hurtled? Birth canal? He makes the ridiculous claim without irony. Like Day, he has a gym bro voice: upbeat, high-energy. I close my fingers around the deodorant can, ready for anything. Just because they’ve introduced themselves doesn’t mean they won’t kill me. Maybe they have a social code for their murdering. Got to keep things civilized.
“Are you going to tell us your name?” Day says.
“Do I need to?” I retort. “I already heard you whispering it.”
“You got us,” Legend says. “We were just having a little fun with you.”
An admission that they’ve been tracking me. Either they’ve been trying to reach me about my extended warranty and they’re really persistent… or they’re weirdly cheerful Halloween killers.
“How do you know me?” I demand.
“We know all about you,” Day says. “We know where you work, where you live. You can’t run from us, bro.”
I knew it. I’m next on their kill list. I turn on my heel and run, ready to prove him wrong on that last point. They tear up the ground, following me. I can’t get any speed, unable to see where I’m going and surrounded by thick trees. The ground is too uneven. I almost trip and they’re right on my heels. I turn around, ready for battle.
“Leave me alone!” I spray them with deodorant. “Take that!”
They cough and splutter as the scent of sandalwood fills the night air. According to the commercial a crowd of skimpily dressed women should descend on me any moment. But I’ll settle for a distraction to make my escape. It doesn’t work. One of them grabs the deodorant and throws it into the trees. It lands with a sad little clunk.
“That was uncalled for, bro,” Day says sadly. “We have very sensitive noses.”
“And eyes,” Legend adds. He grabs my phone from my unresisting hand. “What’s with the blinding flashlight routine? This isn’t a police interrogation.”
No, but maybe it soon will be. Once I’m dead and buried, will these two be sitting at a table across from the cops, bro-ing their way through the questions? If they even get caught. Maybe they’ll bury me here and no one will ever know what happened to me. A whimper escapes my throat. This is it. I’m going to die here.
“At least kill me quickly,” I beg.
There’s a long silence.
“He thinks we want to kill him, bro,” Day says. He sounds confused.
“What?” Legend says. “Why would we kill you, little dragon?”
“Because… Wait, why are you calling me little dragon?” I seize on the random detail. It’ll be a distraction from my probably impending death.
