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This is where she belongs. On some beautiful European balcony, surrounded by salty air and starlight.
She’s brighter than any star in the sky.
I want to be out there with her. I want to wrap my arms around her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
The way I did when we were together.
Only different now.
Because I see her true nature.
Ti amo mi vita.
You’re not just a monster. You’re my monster.
That’s why she did this.
Because she knows men are far more susceptible to sharing affection through sex than women. Because she knows that now I’ll feel like I owe her something. Because she knows after an orgasm, I’ll be more apt to confess my sins.
I should go to bed. Maybe take another shower and fuck myself to the thought of her tied to the bed, groaning my name as she comes around my cock.
At the very least, I should leave this alone.
But I can’t.
My ego won’t allow that.
I join her on the balcony and undo the sash of her robe.
“I thought you weren’t going to fuck me,” she purrs as she melts into the touch.
“I’m not.” I push the robe off her shoulders.
She shimmies so it falls behind her. “You know it’s rude to be a cunt-tease, baby.”
My lips curl into a half-smile. That’s so Jamie. The real Jamie. I missed a lot, but I saw her sense of humor. I still do. She’s as sharp as a knife. “Get on the bed,” I say, nodding toward the bedroom.
“You’d like me to get on the bed so you can not fuck me?” she asks, genuine confusion in her voice.
“I can’t owe you anything,” I say.
“We never kept score when we were together,” she says.
“We were in love then. As far as I knew.” I let hurt drip into my voice. Like I’m still wounded. Like I can’t take how much I adore her. Like she has all the cards.
She doesn’t take the bait. She doesn’t reply to that part. Insist she was in love. Or that she played her role well enough she doesn’t owe me anything herself. “It was my pleasure, Mattie. Really. And you don’t owe me any orgasms. I fucked myself to this plan all week.”
Is that the real Jamie or the perfect girlfriend version of her?
What does she really want, deep down?
Does she even know?
Maybe not.
But I do.
I know how to read her body. I know how to play her game.