Page 53 of The Plus One Pact

"I want to kiss you," I say.

He brings his hand to my cheek and pulls my head towards his.

My lips connect with his. The soft brush at first. Then his lips against mine. The scrape of teeth.

My hips shift against his.

My tongue slips into his mouth.

He starts to reach for me. His hands go to my thighs. But he stops himself. Presses his palms into the couch.

"Touch me," I breathe as I pull back.

"Not yet." He keeps his body steady. He waits for me to move. To act.

Similar to what he did in my apartment. Only there's a different energy to it. There, he seemed like, well, a man who has sex for a living. He seemed like he had all the skill and patience in the world.

Here, he seems more urgent. More rushed, despite his stillness. Like he's playing a game with me. Or against himself.

Not because he's trying to prove he's a fantastic fuck.

Because he wants to see how well he can do.

Because he wants to see what I want.

What do I want?

I want to kiss him again.

So, I do.

I bring my lips to his. I suck on his bottom lip. I slip my tongue into his mouth.

He matches my pace again.

He's a good kisser. There's no other way to explain it.

There's something romantic about our tongues touching. Or maybe it's the intimacy of it. A more emotional sort of intimacy. Less about the urgent need to come. More about the urgent need to connect with another human being.

Good sex is about connection.

I have to explain that to so many people.

To myself.

But I don't want to stay in therapist mode, right now. I want to fall into this moment. To follow my urges.

I run my hands over his skin. Again, I take my time. I want to touch him everywhere. I want him to touch me everywhere. I want our bodies to fully join.

But I want this too.

I touch him until I'm too desperate for more, then I unbutton my blouse and toss that aside.

The bra.

I let my torso sink into his. Let that feeling of our skin connecting flood my body. Oxytocin. That's the feeling in my body. But somehow putting a word to it doesn't make it any less special.

Sure, I know the science. I know I'll feel this rush of hormones with skin-to-skin contact from anyone.