Page 83 of Hunger & Harmony

Next to the two words, something else has been etched into the metal. It’s too worn to make out the small shape, so I run my finger over it. Rounded, but too indistinctive to pinpoint what it originally was.

Heaviness lingers here. It’s not just Sancte Noctis, or even my own gloom. As I look over the metalwork, I of course see how beautiful it is. But when I peer into the bronze eyes, all the love this statue was shaped from disappears. Severity glints in his stern gaze, and my chest expands with sorrow.

I step back and take a deep breath. I’ve had enough of that today. Even now, I’m on limited time while Niko meets with his aunt.

My eyes drag across the sedimentary landscape. It’s still jagged and deafeningly silent.

Where did the wrong notes go? The Vox Crown no longer sings, and I’m too scared to go back to the concert hall. I don’t think Niko will return there anytime soon, either.

Our bond is awake. As I hold my hand to my heart, I can’t help but wonder if it’s always been there. Every phantom touch, the wrong notes transforming for him, the palpable electricity every time we’ve come close . . .

I don’t want to be fated to him. Not if there’s only destruction and disharmony on our path.

His people want my head. The outside world continues without me. Do my parents even care? Has Viola abandoned me for good? Ezren and Selene can only do so much, and Ryel leads the crusade against me.

Every time he looks into my eyes, I see it. How much Niko fears me.

I slowly lower my hands, staring at my palms. They look the same, yet they hold so much power now.

Dissonant.

My teeth grit, and my hands fly up to my temples. A crack of pain surges through my head, and I whimper. Not even ten minutes without Niko, and I’m already fraying.

Is this what I am? Dissonant? The world has decided it for me, and the writing’s on the wall. My blood—Dissonant blood—marked the beginning of the end. It’s proven.

Why, then?

Why does my blood sing a different tune?

19

UNMAKE ME

Ithrow the blankets back with a kick of my legs and a short screech. My frustration echoes around me, fading into the crackle of fire.

Panting, I glare at the amber flame. It dances jovially, and I swear, even the vines curling towards the mantle are mocking my misery.

“Ugh!”

I flop back onto the bed. It’s too hot, but only a couple of minutes without a blanket, and I’ll be back to freezing. I’m trapped in this cycle. My skin is aching, and the pressure behind my eyes won’t ease.

I won’t give in.

Separation hurts. Niko offered to stay as I slept, but I refuse. The Dissonant bond has to be broken, and the only way to not do that through death must be through distance, right?

When I’m near him, the symptoms fade. Any length of time without him in my sight, and I’m splintering apart. Surely if I push myself, I can train my heart to beat without him?

If I can’t undo it completely, any amount of easing this soul-deep fracture would help.

I yank the blankets back up my body. My shivers die down, and I labor on shallow breaths.

It would help to know more. There doesn’t seem to be any support groups for Dissonant bond victims, though. I half-laugh, half-choke on a sob at the thought.

I can’t step foot out of these bedchambers. My eyes dart around the room, frowning at the vibrant snapdragons sprouting out of the floorboards. Spring is suddenly my least favorite season.

When I look past the flora, my attention zeroes in on the sitting area across the room, to the right of the main doors. Specifically, the red velvet chair that’s been dragged up to sit by me. A jacket lays draped across the back of it, and I creep upwards when I spot black leather. Niko used this chair, and he must’ve put it back.

I suck in a breath as my fingers twitch. That has to be Niko’s jacket. My teeth clench to stop myself from smiling. I won’t call him considerate, not even in my own head. I definitely won’t go grab it. What am I, a dog? I don’t need him, and I don’t need his stupid jacket, either.