Page 21 of Hunger & Harmony

“Hey,” Ezren mumbles. “Do you have a minute?”

We end up in the break room, a carton of apple juice and an AB blood pouch between Ezren and me. He drums his fingers on the table, and I wait expectantly.

“Sorry, I just . . .”

He’s been starting and stopping for almost five minutes.

“Take your time,” I assure him.

I think we both know why he looks so torn up. He’s pouting like a kicked puppy.

In a burst of resolve, he reaches into his bag on the floor. Before I know it, something soft is shoved into my hands. A cotton shirt?

“I feel awful,” he says, forehead hitting the table as I observe what he gave me. “I know it’s not a good enough apology, but I didn’t want to be empty-handed.”

The stark black Arteria logo against sky-blue tie-dye puts a smile on my face.

“You made merch?”

He sits back up, eyes shining hopefully.

“Before we got an official supplier, I was the only one who did,” he says, fidgeting with his hands. “I had some supplies, and Lo said your favorite color is blue.”

Funny. The first piece of merch that won’t get banished to the trash is for a rock band. My smile widens.

“Thank you, Ez.” I hold the shirt close. “I appreciate it.”

He returns the smile weakly.

“I don’t think I can make up for scaring you like that.”

I shrug dismissively.

“It’s okay, I’m⁠—”

“It isn’t,” he says, voice shaky. “I put you in a bad situation. On opening night, no less.” His head hangs. “All it proves is I have no self-control, and the guilt isn’t ever going away.”

Did he mean to whisper that last part out loud? I hesitate, gripping the soft shirt tighter when I notice a tear drip onto the table.

“Shit, I’m making it worse.” He roughly wipes ‌his face. “Sorry, Cadence.”

I frown at him, but not because I’m upset.

“Is it wrong to try to show the human within the monster?” he asks, so quietly I almost can’t hear. “Is it wrong to hope he’s still there?”

The human within the monster. My mind wanders back to the first day we met. Lorelai seemed to get under his skin, and her comment had everything to do with humans.

Was Ezren once human? Not that I know the particulars of vampire customs or etiquette. Am I allowed to know about these things?

“Ez . . .Did you react that way because of something in particular?”

A flash of pain twists his expression.

“Because I’m here,” I say, meaning it. “I’ll listen.”

Sure, he’s a mischievous flirt most of the time. Out of everyone here, though, I’d say he’s my closest ally. Maybe even a friend.

“Well . . .”