Page 66 of The Secret Holiday Kiss

‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I’m scared of them. But what happened to me was … not a lot of fun.’

‘If you’ve never talked about it, that might be part of the problem.’

‘Are you going to cure me?’

‘Don’t be such a cynic. Really, I’m just being nosy. I want to know why someone who can handle being on roof scaffolding in a snowstorm can’t handle a pooch like Clifton.’ He didn’t reply, so she kept going. ‘What is this evening for, if not to get to know each other better?’

‘What will you confess to me?’

Daisy felt a rush of adrenaline. Could she tell him her deepest worries? The ones that had resurfaced since being here; the ones that were being challenged by being here?

‘Fine.’ He had clearly taken her silence for a no. ‘The neighbours’ dog was a Dalmatian crossed with something scruffier, I have no idea what, and he was called Terry. The name on its own is stupid enough.’

‘That’s quite close to Terror,’ Daisy pointed out.

Avery shook his head. ‘Darkness and Terror are inspired names. Terry is just … Terry towelling robe? Anyway, he was extra friendly, always jumping up at people, even though his owners had tried to train him out of it. I was small, five or six, so a big dog jumping up is scary whatever its intention is. They had a tiny shed in their front garden, a store for the rubbish bags until bin day. One morning I was outside our house, doing whatever five-year-olds do, and Terry raced up to me. I ran away and ended up shutting myself in the shed.’

‘With the bin bags,’ Daisy said.

‘With the bin bags,’ Avery confirmed. ‘And Terry knew I was in there. He thought it was a game, so he sat outside, barking. It was this loud, shouty bark that reverberated through the wood, and I had nowhere to go and only the fucking bins for company. It was probably five minutes until Mum found me, but it felt like hours.’

‘That does sound awful. When you’re little everything is magnified.’

‘It was extra terrible because the dog was friendly. No drooling teeth or red glowing eyes; it was called Terry, and it totally schooled me.’

‘So.’ Daisy steepled her hands in front of her face. ‘It’s half fear of the large, bouncing dog, and half fear of the embarrassment associated with the encounter.’

He nodded. ‘Which is stupid, because it’s equally embarrassing being afraid of them.’ He sipped his beer. ‘Clifton is OK, though.’

‘It’s the little ones you need to watch out for.’

‘Great.’ Avery laughed. ‘Thanks for the support. Your turn.’

‘I don’t have any dog trauma stories.’

‘But you have a confession for me?’ He’d dropped his voice, so his simple question sounded seductive and wicked. But Daisy’s confessions would kill any simmering lust because they were miserable. She wanted to flirt with him, but she also wanted to be honest. He was easy to talk to, and she got the sense that he wouldn’t judge her for anything.

She toyed with a beer mat, its polystyrene edges already torn. ‘I’m worried I won’t ever find anywhere that feels like home.’

Avery’s brows lowered. ‘After your divorce?’

She nodded. ‘I spent years building the life I wanted. A good career that kept me busy, a man I could share everything with, but who also respected my independence. A house I turned into a home. I put everything into it, I nurtured it, and then it just … collapsed.’

‘That wasn’t down to you, though.’

‘Doesn’t that make it worse? It showed me that, no matter how hard I try, I can’t control my own life.’

Avery rubbed his cheek. ‘Maybe the fact that you were holding on so tightly made it worse when Stefan took it away?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘There isn’t a whole lot you can control, when it comes down to it. You can make decisions and hope you’re going in a particular direction, but things rarely turn out how you expect them to. You didn’t plan to end up here, did you?’

‘No,’ she admitted. ‘But when I realized it was my best option, I thought I would be miserable. I thought all the old emotions would come back, the grief and the loneliness. But Mistingham is just … magical, and everyone has welcomed me back like I didn’t give them all the death stare when I was a teenager.’

‘You were grieving, desperate to start again. I love how pissed off you are that Mistingham has turned out to be magical.’ He grinned, and Daisy laughed.

‘I tried to get into the bookshop the other day. How mad is that? The place my dad loved more than me or Harry.’