Page 10 of Comfort Read

That night, in the spirit of research, Kit decides he might as well watch a Sage Ballard film while he restocks the Corner of Knowledge emergency backup lesson supply.

Choosing which one takes a while. He eliminates the Red Vector trilogy right away; those movies feature Sage as secret agent Flint Campbell, and even his best acting (which he definitely doesn’t bring to the table in any of the three) couldn’t have saved the awful writing. Kit also skips Sage’s only voice acting credit, wherein he plays a camel version of Rumpelstiltskin called Humplestiltskin, on the theory that watching that one wouldn’t be sportsmanlike.

This leaves Kit with a handful of movies he’s seen before and several he hasn’t. Most of them are thrillers or romantic comedies, but Sage’s newest—Windowframed—is a drama, and one that ended up nominated for a few awards. Kit had wanted to see it in theaters, but Emerson had said it sounded like everyone was seeing it, so it probably sucked.

Kit stabs the button to select Windowframed more vengefully than he’s entirely proud of eighteen months after the breakup. As the music swells and the opening credits begin, he’s thinking bitter, morose thoughts about how much of himself he put aside for Emerson’s comfort, and about the way even that wasn’t enough to keep him around in the end.

After five minutes of watching, however, Kit has forgotten about Emerson. By the time the movie’s over, he’s forgotten he ever thought of him.

“God,” Kit chokes out, scrubbing the tears from his eyes as though Throgmorten—the only other soul present—is going to judge him. “God, that was a good movie.” It was well-written and beautifully shot, but what had made it incredible was Sage. Not just his performance, but what he brought to the character, the layers of warmth and confusion and bright, desperate hope—it held the whole movie together. Kit can’t think of a single other actor he’d have enjoyed in the role.

How bad could it be? How wrong could it go? Sure, Kit has a tendency to get in too deep, to shoot for the stars and come crashing to earth halfway there: So what? This is still the chance of a lifetime! A story to tell the future grandchildren he almost certainly won’t have because Emerson left him and everyone in a fifty-mile radius knows he’s damaged goods. A story to tell his niece and nephews, if nothing else!

He goes to bed that night firm in his resolve, determined to make smart choices. He won’t waver. He won’t go back on his decision, which is a good decision, the right one. He won’t torture himself about the various ways he might embarrass himself in front of Sage Ballard, or in public, or in front of Sage Ballard while in public.

Most of all, Kit will not spend any time between now and his coffee meeting with Sage on Monday reading up on him on the gossip websites. He won’t. He will not.

FIVE

Sage Ballard Loses His Cool After Talk Show Flub

Though he’s said repeatedly over the years that he’s proud of his family’s legacy in the entertainment industry, Sage Ballard has changed his tune… TMZ has learned.

Ballard appeared as a guest on Late Night Live with Brian O’Malley on Friday, to promote his latest Red Vector film. But when O’Malley asked about Ballard’s father, the late John Ballard, things went off the rails. In a clip that’s been widely circulated since the episode aired, O’Malley mentions Infamous, the recent biopic about John’s career and tragic death. He asks the younger Ballard if it was his father’s Hollywood legacy that inspired him to go into show business. Although Ballard has gone on the record many times to express exactly that sentiment, he freezes for nearly fifteen seconds before he says, “Don’t ask me about that. I have nothing to say about that,” and walks off the stage, leaving an obviously shocked O’Malley scrambling to recover.

According to several sources, Ballard made his unhappiness known off-camera, demanding a closed-door meeting with O’Malley and the producers, and stormed out of the building when it was finished. Several witnesses reported raised voices, and one told TMZ that Ballard appeared “enraged.”

What triggered the shift in sentiment here? Could Ballard be unhappy with the biopic, which has been widely praised by critics, and reportedly got the family’s stamp of approval in pre-production? Or were the family memories not so sweet to start with? We’ll have to wait and see…

Cops Crash Ballard’s Bash

Uniformed Officers Called to Sage Ballard’s Hollywood Hills Mansion

Sage Ballard’s year is off to a rocky start.

First there was his disastrous appearance on Late Night Live with Brian O’Malley. Then there was the fight seen around the world: a vicious verbal throwdown with his manager, industry veteran Nick Rathbone, captured on video by a lucky fan who happened to be sharing the subway platform where it all went down. A flurry of blind items followed, alleging sightings of an overserved Ballard stumbling through nightclubs and unsettling guests at A-list parties.

But the latest news of Ballard’s antics is perhaps the most disquieting: Three squad cars were seen arriving at Ballard’s property in the Hollywood Hills last night, after allegedly receiving an assortment of noise complaints. Though Ballard wasn’t among those arrested, several guests were led out of the house in handcuffs, and sources indicate that both the partying and the drug use had gotten wildly out of hand.

“You hate to see it,” a source close to Ballard said. “Sage was always best-case for a former child star: He kept his nose clean and his head on straight, so the studios never worried about hiring him. These days, though, there’s a lot of talk about whether or not he’s reliable. If he doesn’t get his act together soon, he’s going to make himself very hard to hire.”

He seems to have already made himself hard to live near. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a fellow resident of Ballard’s swanky gated community told us: “I didn’t want to file that complaint, but he didn’t leave me much choice. A big party every once in a while is one thing—this is Hollywood, after all. But it’s every weekend lately, sometimes weeknights too. That’s just inconsiderate. People around here have kids, you know? People need to sleep!”

We’ll keep an eye on this story and keep you updated as we hear more. But for now, evidence suggests that Good Fences may not make for good neighbors…

Ballard Breaks Camera; Photographer Set to Sue

In the latest in a line of erratic incidents from the Red Vector star, Sage Ballard has been caught on film attacking paparazzi outside the St. Regis hotel.

Ballard, in New York filming an upcoming project, is apparently not staying at the St. Regis himself, and was there meeting with one of the guests. In the footage, he steps out of the hotel with a stormy expression… and immediately begins raging at the man behind the lens. As he knocks the camera to the ground, Ballard can be heard saying, “How many fucking times do I have to ask—” before the video cuts out.

No response from Ballard’s camp to our request for comment, but the photographer, Mike Vererro, was happy to chat. A frequent contributor to TMZ, he tells us he plans to sue, saying, “These famous people want to take everything so personally. It’s like, hey, man—I’m just doing my job.”

Weeks after Firing Manager, Ballard Breaks Studio Contracts

He refuses to appear in the next Red Vector film and has cancelled all upcoming projects!

Sage Ballard has reportedly broken all ties with Thunderstrike Studio, TMZ has learned in an exclusive report. The move, which comes just two weeks after Ballard cut manager Nick Rathbone loose, is both unprecedented and without warning. Sources say Ballard was dutifully appearing on set for the latest Red Vector film as recently as last week. Now, however, he insists he will be unable to finish shooting, or work on any of the other projects he was slated to be part of at Thunderstrike.