Page 37 of The Duke and the Spinster

~~~~~

A little more than two weeks later, Garrett and Juliana were walking in the gardens at Hardcastle House, the sun warming them and the scent of flowers everywhere. The banns had already been called twice, and they would, in a matter of a few short weeks, be wed.

Garrett watched her as she bent to smell a rose, the sun glinting off her golden hair. She was perfect. He loved her, more than he had ever imagined loving anyone. Still, she seemed hesitant sometimes, as if some shadow still hung over her, from the past. She turned to him, a rose petal in her fingers.

“Do you know, there are many different roses, and the scent of each is subtly different. So many scents. One day, I hope to have the equipment to distil such scents, to make cologne to keep the scent, long after the roses are gone.”

“Then, once we are wed, I will buy you that equipment – if you will give me instructions, for I confess that, without help, I would have not the slightest idea what to purchase.”

She laughed – a wonderful sound, full of warmth and happiness.

“Are you sure? Such things are expensive…”

“I’m sure. You’ll have to get used to the idea that we can afford whatever you want.”

Suddenly she turned away, her brightness dimming. He reached out and took her hand, gently drawing her to him. her eyes met his, and doubt of some kind filled them.

“Juliana, what is it? Why did you look away?”

She hesitated, and he watched emotions flit across her face. Finally, she glanced down, took a deep breath, then raised her head to meet his eyes.

“Because you reminded me how much you are giving me. And I still do not truly understand why. Still, to me, the only logical reason for you to marry me, and to be so generous in everything, is that you see it as required by honour. For I am still me – the same woman who was mocked for her clumsiness, who was mocked for having garish yellow hair like old straw. What can a man like you see in a woman like me?”

He lifted her hand, and kissed her fingers, one by one, his eyes never leaving hers. The confusion in them increased.

“What can I see? I see a woman who is beautiful, who is elegant and graceful, and who is so because she chooses to be. But it would not matter if you were actually clumsy – which you are not – for you are beautiful as a person. You have no greed, no spitefulness, no nastiness of any kind in you. Juliana, I want to marry you because I love you, and for no other reason. It took that moment when I saw you trapped in Fondleton’s carriage for me to realise the depths of my feelings for you – and when I did, my path was simple. I love you, there is nothing more complicated to it.”

“You… love me?”

“Yes. I think that I began to love you that first picnic, when we spoke in the woods. And now I cannot imagine feeling any other way.”

Her eyes glittered with tears, and she took a huge breath.

“Then I will say this whilst I am brave enough, whilst your words give me strength. I love you. I did not understand it at first, but every time I saw you, the feeling was stronger. When you kissed me in the library at Hallingbrook Grange, I knew it, but I denied it to myself. I cannot deny it to either of us now. I love you.”

He swept her into his arms, and spun her around with an exultant shout. She clung to him, laughing, until they slowed, and he lowered his mouth to hers. This time, the kiss was different, this time, they each knew the other’s heart. This time, she actually believed his words, he thought.

~~~~~

Juliana was dizzy, from spinning, from his kiss, and from his words, and the truth she had finally recognised in them, most of all. To be loved by such a man! It was beyond her wildest dreams, it seemed impossible, and yet it was true.

Now that she knew his feelings, now that she could trust that it was not simply a calculated act of honour, she could give herself to her marriage with wholehearted joy, could allow herself to truly love and not fear the pain of it not being reciprocated. The world was a wonderful place!

Finally, they drew apart, both smiling broadly, then, hand in hand, they walked back through the gardens, both filled with impatience, wanting their wedding day to arrive faster.