Page 1 of Lady Theodora’s Christmas Wish

“Ouch!”

Lady Theodora’s voice was sharp as she exclaimed at the sudden pain. She got no sympathy from Polly, her maid. Polly was used to her young mistress, and simply sighed.

“Miss, if you could just sit still while I finish putting up your hair, it wouldn’t get pulled. I do declare, you’re more fidgety than young Etta – but at least she has the excuse of being two years old!”

Polly had not yet adapted to calling Theodora ‘my Lady’ – for it was not all that long since the formal adoption papers had been signed.

Those papers had taken her from being simply ‘Miss Theodora Rockingham’, the Earl of Stanningfield’s ward, to being ‘Lady Theodora Rockingham’, the Earl of Stanningfield’s daughter.

Theodora herself was not yet used to it, although it was delightful to be able to call the Earl ‘papa’ after so long. It had been, in a way, his present to her for her 17th birthday – the finalisation of the adoption process. And, that afternoon, she had been given yet more wonderful news – it had been a truly amazing few months!

For that afternoon she had been told that not only was there to be a Christmas Ball at Havisham Hall, but that she would be permitted to attend, as an adult! It would be the first Christmas Ball held there since the old Earl’s passing, some 8 years or more ago.

Theodora wanted nothing so much as to rush down to dinner, so that she could sooner ask for more details of the Ball, but the sting of her pulled hair, and Polly’s patient admonition, made her try very hard to stop fidgeting and wait – after all, if she was to be treated as an adult (finally!), it was best that she act like it – at least enough that Polly did not compare her to baby Etta!

Once she sat still, allowing her mind to drift off into fairy-tale imaginings of how the Ball might be, populated, of course, with handsome gentlemen who quite fell in love with her on the spot, Polly had her hair untangled and all pinned up in no time.

Once it was done Theodora stood, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her dress was new, for she had entirely grown out of all of her old clothes, so another part of her birthday delights had been the ordering of a whole new wardrobe. And these clothes were definitely those of a fairly fashionable young Lady, not a child.

She was amazed at what Polly could do with her mass of rich dark brown hair, taming it into intricate, yet delicate coils, which almost glowed in the light, with glints of red and gold as the natural highlights shone through. The dress she wore was a pale rose gold colour – perfectly setting off her hair, without being too strong a colour for a young woman.

She almost didn’t recognise herself!

The stillness did not last long though – she had never been one to sit quietly by – Theodora was more likely to be found in the stables, or running about in the grounds, given the chance, than sitting demurely with embroidery.

She whirled, the artful tendrils of her hair lifting, like the skirt of the dress, with the force of her movement, as the excitement took hold again, and, laughing in delight at the sensation, went down to dinner.

Etta ran around and around the nursery, pushing a wooden train, and making her best imitation of train noises – which was a little difficult, as trains were so new, that she, like most people, had never actually seen a real one. Such minor issues did not concern her. At 2 years old, Etta was secure in her world, and was quite able to deal with imagining the train to be real, no matter what.

Eddie, just one year old, did not have any concerns – he sat happily on the rug in front of Theodora, gurgling and laughing, simply because Etta was laughing, and Theodora was rolling a ball to him.

Theodora was having a hard time concentrating on playing with the children, even though she usually adored doing so. Her mind kept drifting away into thoughts of the coming Ball. In just a few weeks, the house would be full of guests, the Ballroom decorated and brilliantly lit, and she would be amongst it all!

“Tia, Tia!”

Eddie demanded her attention, holding out his little hands for the ball. Eddie had just begun to talk, and, like Theodora herself, at that age, could not manage to say ‘Theodora’ – so Tia it was. Hearing it still shook Theodora’s composure - for she had not been called Tia for more than 4 years, since Gran died. To hear it in the child’s voice was bittersweet – it brought back all the sad memories, even though the children were a delight.

And now, she thought with satisfaction, they were officially her brother and sister! She rolled the ball again, then obeyed Etta’s command to watch her, and applaud the train’s speed, but was soon lost in thoughts of the Ball again.

For surely there would be handsome gentlemen there. Gentlemen that she had not met.

Gentlemen who would dance with her, who would, she most intensely hoped, fall in love with her at first sight. Of course, it would also be delightful if she fell in love with one of them…..

She wanted romance, wanted love, wanted, oh so very much, all those things that her mother had not had. She pushed that part of the thought away, and went back to imagining herself swept away to dance with a handsome man, wooed, and even kissed. Whatever that might feel like – she was certain that it would be wonderful.

Eddie tugged at her hand, wanting her attention again, and Tia (for, inside, that was how she still thought of herself) turned to him, smiling. In that moment, it occurred to her that she would like to have children of her own one day. Which would definitely require a handsome gentleman to fall in love with!

She silently vowed to herself that one day she would – and that she would make sure that their childhood was very different from hers (for whilst she had been loved, always, she had not had the circumstances or the money for much more than just love).

The desire to see her own children, and for them to be as happy and carefree as Eddie and Etta, was an ache of such intensity that it surprised her.

Her musings were interrupted when Etta, having become utterly over exuberant, tripped on the ball that Eddie had just rolled, and collapsed in a crying heap, tangled with the wooden train. Gathering her to her with calming words, Theodora resolved that she would think more, later, about what it might be like to have a child of her own.