Page 91 of My Undead Love Life

“No.” I shook my head, my pulse picking up again. “No, this is him. It’s his handwriting. And we didn’t come through this way before. We didn’t stay in the van. We didn’t know about the leopards.”

Hope flooded my chest. It was dangerous, but I let it. “He made it out,” I gasped. “He had to. Otherwise, how would this be here?”

Mad’s expression softened, but there was something cautious in his eyes. “Spencer…”

“He could still be alive,” I pushed. “He could be ahead of us. He could’ve found another way out of the tunnels, or gotten away from the horde, or found shelter, or⁠—”

“Hey.” Luck’s voice was calm but firm. “We don’t know that.”

“But we don’t know he’s not, either!” I shouted, tears streaming down my cheeks. “We don’t know that he’s not alive.”

“We heard the gunshots stop,” Mad murmured. “We saw him stay back with the horde closing in on him.”

“We didn’t see him die,” I said with conviction. And in my heart, I knew I was right. I knew it sounded crazy. I knew hope could be cruel. I knew grief could make the impossible look possible, but these words were right there under my hand.

Keith had been here. He had touched this metal and warned people about the leopards. Which meant, he had survived long enough to know they were out here.

“I’m not giving up on him,” I said, quieter now. “Not yet.”

Oxi nodded once. “Okay.”

Mad exhaled softly. “Okay.”

“Whatever you need,” Luck murmured.

I looked between them through the blur of my tears.

Keith’s possible survival sat in the same place in my heart that remembered how Oxi’s mouth felt on mine, the way Mad called me flare, and the way Luck looked at me.

Hope was supposed to feel good. This felt like being split open, and it didn’t feel right.

“Alright,” Oxi said, clearing his throat. “We’re freezing. Same plan as before. Layers off, blankets out. Body checks. Then, let’s conserve heat.”

The cramped space made it difficult. We started pulling off our clothes, and our elbows bumped together. The van was too small for four adults to undress with any dignity, especially while trying not to touch frozen metal or accidentally kick someone in the face.

“Careful,” Luck muttered as he shifted out of my way.

“Sorry,” I said, tugging my jacket free.

“It’s okay.”

Mad was quiet as he stripped down, still watching the doors like the leopards might come back at any second. Oxi moved with quick efficiency, but his gaze kept flicking toward the message on the wall. Luck tried to give me room and bumped his shoulder into the side panel hard enough to hiss.

The three of them were already naked when I finally unsnapped my bra. I bent to take off my underwear, but the van floor was uneven, my foot caught in the fabric, and I lost my balance.

I fell straight into Luck. “Oof!”

My breasts landed against his bare chest, and he hit the side of the van before letting out a yelp because the metal was freezing against his back.

His hand wound around my waist, holding us both upright. “You okay, slayer?”

“Sorry!” I blurted. My panties had fallen to my ankles, and it finally dawned on me that I was pressed against him and we were both completely naked.

Then, his erection poked into me. Luck went absolutely still, and so did I.

“No, no, that was, uh, my fault,” he said quickly, letting go of me and turning slightly, though there was nowhere to turn in the cramped van.

“I literally fell on top of you. It’s my fault.” I stepped back, covering my breasts with one hand while trying to kick free of my underwear without making things worse.