Page 81 of Yearning Difficulties

The wounded twinge in his voice made me drop my indifferent act. I glanced at him and almost swore at how pale he looked.

‘You okay, Kill?’

He smiled wanly. ‘Yeah. Why?’

‘You look like death.’

He rubbed his face with his hands and shrugged. ‘Why, thank you.’

‘Don’t be glib. Are you eating? Sleeping? You look awful.’

‘I have a second interview at Mapesbury on Friday.’

Same as Dave, I realized. I wondered if they’d be in the same waiting room together. ‘Need help preparing?’

He looked surprised at my offer. ‘I should be okay.’

He probably didn’t mean to make it feel like a rejection but it did. ‘Okay.’

‘When’s yours?’

‘Application hasn’t been sent off yet.’

‘Oh. Well. You have until January.’

‘I know.’

It was unbearably stilted.

Chris and Anderson suddenly sauntered into the room, heading straight for our table and interrupting the awkwardness.

‘Have you two made up yet?’ Chris asked carefully, as they spread their books out on the table.

I arched an eyebrow at Killian. ‘Did we fall out?’

He gave me a look, one that told me to stop pretending. ‘I’m not apologizing for what happened in English. About time some of those idiots got an actual education.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I never expect you to apologize, Kill. Don’t worry.’

‘Hey!’

We all glanced up. Cherry had arrived, followed by a tentative Claire. She slid into the empty seat next to Killian and my stomach started to hurt. Cherry sat on my left and silently offered me a sour sweet. I took it, grateful for something to angrily chew.

‘So it’s the Halloween dance on Friday,’ Claire said unprompted, eyeing Killian with a hopeful gleam.

‘Yes!’ Anderson burst out, clearly unable to sense the subtext in Claire’s words. ‘Good. Now that we’re all gathered here, we can decide. Are we doing group costumes?’

Claire frowned at the idea but I smiled. ‘What did you have in mind?’

‘We could be hobbits!’

I suddenly felt the wind wrenched out of me. ‘No!’

The vehemence in my voice made poor Anderson’s face drop. I didn’t know how to take it back. My reply had been viscerally automatic. But that was my burden, not anyone else’s.

‘Zella was an elf from Lord of the Rings last Halloween,’ Killian said quickly, moving the awkwardness of the situation to one side with graceful ease. An ease that was unlike him.

But something about it didn’t make sense.