Page 62 of Yearning Difficulties

I held my breath during their joust, eyeing the hooves of the horses and inwardly worrying about something going wrong.

But it didn’t.

The crowd cheered. Loudly. I wondered if they’d picked up on the discomfort and perhaps their applause was due to relief. When Dave did his victory lap, I forced myself to relax. To ignore the war drums in my head.

As Dave rode his horse, Cyrano, towards me, I knew what was going to happen milliseconds before it did. I mounted the saddle clumsily – and Dave lost control.

His panic instantly transferred into Cyrano, his body language communicating to the poor animal that something was wrong. So Cyrano tossed his neck and made chuffing sounds of distress.

Then he reared and bolted.

I heard the crowd gasp as Dave and I hit the floor. The sawdust beneath my cheek smelled like the inside of a pet store and my left wrist ached from my poor attempt to break my fall. I struggled to sit up but the screams of the audience alerted me to something more.

It wasn’t over. The horse had bolted but was now rounding on us again, his hooves thundering against the ground as the creature battled its own sudden onset of terror. I stared in horror as he charged at us, this usually sweet creature now wild with fear.

I was about to get to my feet when I suddenly felt Dave’s palm on my shoulder. He was using me to push himself into a standing position, rushing to safety as soon as he was on his feet. People made noises of disbelief and I heard my dad swear as he leapt over the wooden barrier of the stands.

But someone else got to me first. There was a flash of chainmail and suddenly a hard body was on top of me, rolling me out of harm’s way and free of the poor horse’s rampage. Covering my body with his in case the horse decided to return.

Killian.

I felt his ribs against mine. His arms locked around my torso like a vice. My face buried in his neck. I could smell cedar and soap. I didn’t know if the heart I could feel pounding was his or mine. If the lungs pushing out gasps of air belonged to him or to me.

‘Zella?’ his voice spoke in my ear, soft and calm despite all of the chaos around us. ‘Are you all right? Please be okay.’

I pulled back slightly and we were staring at one another, our faces mere inches apart. Looking into his face made me come back from it all. My breathing slowed, my heart realized that everything was fine. My nervous system went from a shuddering, clumsy livewire to something level and even, a scale brought back into balance.

‘I’m okay, Kill,’ I said softly.

He released a shaken breath and cupped my face with his hand, his eyes scanning my entire body for any signs of hurt. I reached up to cover his hand with mine.

‘I am,’ I breathed. ‘I’m fine, Killian.’

Our small moment of peace was shattered as voices were suddenly too close. Hands pulling at both of us, people asking me if I was all right. I felt like telling them that we were both fine and that they all needed to go away. I was aware of Dad’s fingers checking my head for an injury but I was still watching Killian. He got to his feet, a little unsteadily, his eyes never leaving mine.

‘Zella,’ I heard Dad bark, in a voice I’d never heard him use, ‘is your head hurt? Did you hit it?’

‘No,’ I said shortly. ‘I’m fine. Just bruised.’

Killian gave a tight nod. Like he’d been waiting for the same information. Then his eyes filled with fire and he rounded on Dave. My ex was sitting at the side of the arena, complaining of a sore rib to anyone who would stop to listen. I watched Killian advance on him, not unlike the horse who was now being gently led back to his stable.

‘You,’ Killian spat at Dave. ‘You left her to get fucking trampled.’

Before anyone could stop it, Killian was on him. Dave had leapt up to meet the other boy’s attack and within moments the two of them were pummelling each other with visible hatred. Dad and some of the other adults had to fight to separate them from one another.

‘Zella? Zella!’

I started. Marcia was kneeling down next to me. ‘Sorry, what?’

‘I need to take you to a medic. You might have a head injury.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘No, hon. We need to make sure. Up you get.’

I shook off her offer of help and staggered to my feet. I wasn’t going to rush towards Dave and Killian, screaming girlishly at them to stop.

I wanted to speak to Killian alone.