Page 6 of Yearning Difficulties

‘Not until you tell me what you ever saw in that dipshit.’

Dave was . . . he was lonely and mad at the world. He and I were similar that way.

But that wasn’t Killian Bergery’s business. ‘No. Leave.’

He studied me for a moment but decided to change tactics.

‘So, I might swing by your dad’s auditions tonight.’

That did catch my attention. ‘No.’

‘Yes!’

‘Can you ride a horse?’

‘Sure. But don’t you think it’s crazy that people don’t need a licence to ride a horse? It’s not like a car; it’s a proper sentient being. And people are just allowed to hop on old Thunder, the angry Shire horse, and no one says a thing about it. He’s caused more whiplash than all the automobile accidents in this town combined.’

I gave him a withering look, refusing to be visibly amused.

‘So, tell your dad I’ll be there. Maybe put in a good word for me. You know, seeing as we’re friends.’

‘We are not friends,’ I replied.

‘Sure we are, Red.’

‘You spent all of last year throwing gum wrappers at my head. We are not friends.’

‘Well, that’s when you were off-and-on with that ignorant nepo baby.’

‘He’s going to take a hit out on you after what you just did to him.’

‘But I did it for you, Red. To avenge your honour.’

That did it. ‘Oh, fuck off, Killian Bergery! You did it to show off! The idea of beating someone over the head with your cleverness was too much to resist so you picked an easy target. Congratulations. Everyone in this room thought it was funny and that Dave had it coming. And maybe he did. But I don’t have to laugh just because everyone else does. In fact, a laughing mob just makes everything less funny to me.’

The speech landed like a sword into the dirt. I had to look back down at my food. Eye contact was hard for me at the best of times, let alone when I was actually saying how I felt. I could tell by his silence that I’d stunned him, so I waited, holding my breath. Some awful retort was bound to be incoming.

But the words never came. And when I finally glanced up, Killian was gone.

Three

Meet Cute

Today’s Track: ‘We Can’t Be Friends’ by Ariana Grande

Later that day, I pulled a white fisherman’s sweater over my head, started my playlist and made my way towards Lake Pristine. The high school was a good thirty-minute walk from the small town I lived in, and I had to walk through the woods to reach home. I didn’t mind, I liked the solitude. I always felt lonely in a crowd.

You never saw crowds in a forest.

The leaves were just starting to change colour, and the trees seemed to touch the clouds. I smiled to myself. The closest things Lake Pristine would ever have to skyscrapers. They kept out so much of the light but the occasional ray would still manage to seep through. There was something witchy about all of it. The long stretch of road, the towering woodland that felt like nature’s great parasols. I could smell bark and moss and the wet scent of autumn.

The odd car would pass me on the road and after a while, I spotted the unblemished ‘Welcome to Lake Pristine’ sign.

I smiled. Every time I saw it, I remembered when Max and I had thrown snowballs at it one winter and then been forced to clean it every day for a month.

She’d always joked that Lake Pristine reminded her of Hobbiton. I’d always joked that Hobbiton had way more going on.

As I made my way to the Lake Pristine Council Headquarters, I thought that Max had probably been right after all. The town was bustling with autumnal business. Mrs Montgomery was ushering her little ballerinas into the dance studio and all of the girls were dressed like pumpkins.