Page 26 of Yearning Difficulties

‘This is all a bit daunting,’ I said. I gave the two of them an awkward little nod. ‘Guess I’ll see you out there.’

I made as if to move towards the backstage side of the arena, where the cast tent was located. But I found myself hesitating, wondering if Killian would heave a sigh of relief in my absence. I pressed my back to the outer wall of the wooden arena and used my frighteningly strong hearing to be nosy. I could just make out their voices.

‘So,’ I heard Anderson say briskly. ‘This is a complete fucking mess.’

Killian pushed out a breath. ‘Don’t. Chris has already given me shit for it.’

I closed my eyes. This was what I’d worried about. That I’d somehow trapped him within this selfish little scheme.

‘Kill!’ Anderson sounded more serious than I’d ever heard him. ‘You can’t put yourself through this.’

‘What, getting lanced and almost falling off a horse?’

‘Kill!’

I felt sick. All this dishonesty just to get onto a stupid writing seminar.

When Killian replied after a lengthy pause, he sounded weary. ‘Andy, I have to help her. This is an easy way to do that. So that’s what I’m going to do. And we don’t need to talk about it.’

Suddenly, their voices lowered. They were speaking in quick, hushed tones and even my bat hearing couldn’t pick up what was being said. I moved to the cast tent and quickly changed into my costume and went to my mark.

When the show was ready to begin, people applauded, which made me feel ridiculous.

When I next saw Killian, he was in his chainmail.

I watched him put his helmet on and walk out to face the crowd. He looked handsome. Seeing his face disappear beneath the visor made me realize how much I’d started to like looking at it. I watched as he spotted his twin and cousin sitting in the front of the stands. They both waved wildly at him and the audience cheered as he and Dave mounted their horses.

My dad was narrating the whole thing, riling up the crowd and enjoying the enthusiastic atmosphere, taking advantage of the fact that the stands were lined with lifelong fans of the Lake Pristine Medieval Faire, who hooted every time he would address the ‘peasants’.

‘He’s shamelessly catering to his demographic,’ I muttered to myself.

They hit their marks. They played the scene.

‘Sir Knight,’ Killian yelled. We’d been instructed to project so that our voices could hit the back of the stands. ‘I challenge you!’

Dad had begged them to say ‘thee’ and ‘thou’ but they’d clearly both decided to overrule this particular choice. It made me smile. Poor Dad.

The crowd ooooh’d at Killian’s dialogue.

‘He challenges me,’ Dave bellowed in response. ‘Because he envies the love of my lady.’

I sighed as a spotlight landed on me and I pretended to swoon. People shouted in delight, thrilled by the silly melodrama of it all. I waved my favour (a handkerchief) in the air.

‘I will give my lord this token and pray he wins the match,’ I said, casting my voice out across the small arena. I still hated that it was Dave, but alas, we were low on skilled horse riders.

Everyone cheered. Killian had lifted his visor but was now staring at the ground.

‘What say you, villain?’ Dave barked at him.

‘I say get on your horse. The one whose back end looks just like you.’

I snorted. It wasn’t the line, of course. Killian was clearly feeling creative.

They were supposed to have a rehearsed and heavily staged sword-fight first, but for some reason both went straight to their horses. I wondered if Dad had told them that they needed more practice before picking up a weapon.

Once they began their joust, it was thrilling to watch. Even though I knew the forgone conclusion, I still felt as invested as the crowd. Eventually, Dave successfully ‘lanced’ Killian, who pretended to fall forward on Thunder.

The audience applauded and Dave took a victory lap. When he eventually reached me, I climbed onto the back of his horse and we rode out of the arena together.