Page 43 of Unapologetic Love Story

‘Sure,’ Anita said. ‘Celebrating what?’

‘Raina’s been nominated for a couple of Mondays.’

‘I don’t know what those are but congratulations,’ Anita said. Her candid support made Raina laugh.

‘Thank you,’ she replied.

Pepper handed over her credit card and popped the champagne, pouring generously.

As they toasted, Raina considered two things: she hated drinking champagne, let alone on an empty stomach, and there was a couple on the other side of the bar she vaguely recognized. She couldn’t place where from, but they were both tall and slender with blonde hair and icy blue eyes. In fact, they seemed like male and female carbon copies of each other. The woman looked bored and miserable, taking time to sip what looked like a gin and tonic while glaring at any girl who breathed near her. The man was loudly demanding that one of the bartenders charge his phone for him.

‘Do we know them?’ Raina asked Pepper, using her champagne flute to direct her friend’s attention to the couple.

Pepper squinted and then groaned. ‘You don’t, lucky for you. I do.’

‘Who?’

‘Sebastian Jones and Ottie Langham.’

‘How come I recognize them?’

‘They were on a reality show for a hot minute. I met them through Bridget and Jackson. I think Seb and Ottie were at the Hathaway Dinner as well.’

Raina clicked her fingers and nodded. ‘That’s it. She was yelling at the waiter.’

‘Yeah, she’s pretty awful.’

‘And him?’

‘Worse.’

‘Best hope they don’t clock us then?’

Of course, Raina’s words acted like a cruel spell and Sebastian chose that moment to give up harassing the bartender. He spotted Pepper and recognition flooded his face. Both women groaned as he scooped up his drink and started to head towards them, not stopping to see if his girlfriend was following.

Raina braced herself for what was about to happen: two-faced pretending in a social situation for absolutely no reason. She wouldn’t judge Seb and Ottie until meeting them, but she knew Pepper was about to put on a magnificent performance.

‘How are you?’ exclaimed Pepper with false enthusiasm as the pair reached their table.

‘Can’t complain, gorgeous,’ Seb boomed, air-kissing Pepper while completely ignoring Raina.

‘Hi, Ottie,’ Pepper added, beaming radiantly at Seb’s companion.

‘Hi, Pep,’ fawned the other woman, mimicking Pepper’s expression while blowing a kiss. ‘How’ve you been, darling?’

‘Can’t complain,’ Pepper purred. ‘You both look well.’

Raina checked out while the three of them performed this strange, insincere ritual. No one had any interest in speaking to her, no matter how hard she tried to make eye contact. She watched all of the other people in the room instead. A group of friends sat in another corner, laughing loudly while one tried to down an entire pint. Raina could tell by looking at them that they’d all been friends for a while, but hadn’t found much time of late to see each other. They were all fully animated and delighted by every second in each other’s company, laughing genuinely at each joke as though it were the funniest thing they’d ever heard.

A middle-aged couple were drinking sherry by the fire and the woman had taken her shoes off. They had a beautiful Labrador asleep at their feet with a bowl of water that had obviously been brought from home.

Then Raina’s eyes fell on a pair leaning up against the bar. The woman had spilled a drink on the man and was apologizing with nervous giggles, while he dabbed at himself with paper napkins. He jokingly pressed the wet serviette into her neck, causing her to shriek in faux mortification. He crumpled up the napkin and pressed a forgiving kiss onto the spot on her neck, and her arms slid around him.

And Raina just felt so sad. She felt so out of place and far from everyone. A feeling that had been with her for as long as she’d known she was different. She’d worked hard to get to the contented, confident version of herself she now presented to the public. Yet sometimes, the neurotypical world would hit her with strange moments of déjà vu. Moments that took her back to sleepovers, school dances and weekends spent reading at home. Déjà vu which reminded her that although she could put on a good show and play pretend, she would never be one of them. Not only because of unspoken, unconscious prejudice, but because she always sensed, on nights like this, like a part of her was missing.

She suddenly didn’t feel like celebrating any more.

She was about to say as much to Pepper when she spotted something else. A little further down the bar stood a young girl, only a few months over eighteen. Perhaps not even that. She was the kind of girl Raina would have ID-checked when she worked here.