Page 103 of Unapologetic Love Story

‘I’m fine. I’ll be fine.’

‘You keep saying that. Just let yourself be not fine for a bit.’

‘Not allowed.’

‘I’m insisting on it.’

‘All right, Doctor.’

Tom massaged her foot, the one closest to him, as she ate from the bowl. She let out a purr as he pressed into the arch, as he’d done in the cellar that night. ‘Does . . . shutting down make you angry?’

Her eyes met his and they were no longer empty. Now they were sad. The kind of sadness that only came out of getting back up too many times only to realize that more people had joined in trying to push you down. ‘Every time.’

He stroked her foot tenderly and her eyes closed in contentment. ‘I’m sorry.’

She hesitated before finally saying, ‘This is the part I don’t like people seeing. The actually disabling part. I know it shouldn’t be that way; I wouldn’t dare say this on the show. I’m terrified I’ll get burned at the stake for internalized ableism or something. But it’s true. Sometimes, the way the world is designed makes me fall off the conveyer belt. And it’s hard. Because I’m proud. And I don’t like people seeing it.’

‘I’m not people.’

‘No, you’re my boyfriend apparently.’

She raised an eyebrow as she said the words and spoke with a note of reproval. Tom grinned. ‘Well, what am I then?’

‘You’re the man I’m sleeping with.’

‘We’re not just sleeping with each other right now.’

‘No.’

‘We watch terrible movies together. I feed you. I think about you all the time and worry about you constantly. I want to talk about you to everyone I meet. I bring you up in conversations with strangers. It’s a miracle I’ve managed to stop myself from doing it on live television. On the rare occasion I don’t sleep here, I call you. And when I hang up, the call log usually says the conversation was about four hours long.’

‘Sounds like a you problem,’ she ribbed.

‘We’re going to your friend’s birthday together.’

‘We’re not. I have to arrive early to set up.’

‘You know what I’m saying, Raina.’

She sighed, looking at him with a serious expression. ‘After all you’ve just witnessed, you want to have this conversation now?’

‘I’ve been trying to have it with you all week. I’m not really interested in days that don’t have you in them.’

‘Pretty strategic of you,’ she said with an ache in her voice, ‘to spring this on me post-shutdown. Even though it was a tiny one.’

‘That was a small one?’

‘I’m talking, aren’t I? The bad ones can take me out for days.’

‘Is there anything you need me to do?’

She looked surprised by the question. ‘No.’

‘Who normally takes care of you?’

She laughed at the query, amused by his words. When she realized he was serious, her tickled expression bled into one of confusion. ‘You’re not joking?’

He shook his head, and Raina felt a sharpness when she breathed. Two knitting needles poked into her ribs from either side. She sat up, reaching for the glass of water.