Page 100 of Unapologetic Love Story

Raina blurted out a laugh that was almost a sob. The man behind the till nodded, taking into account all of the other women’s additions. He then invited Raina to pay. She slipped her card into the machine and punched in her code, before gripping Solana and Mirren’s hands. The three of them stood staring at the machine, their whole bodies full of tension. Zailey watched with a blank expression, but she was barely breathing.

In fact, everyone held their breath as the machine connected. Then . . .

‘It went through!’ screamed Solana.

‘It went through!’ bellowed Mirren, a joyous echo.

Zailey beamed and Raina gasped in relief. ‘Miracles do happen!’

The shop assistant laughed. ‘Enjoy the dress.’

‘Thank you,’ Raina said, her breath releasing in a gush as she accepted the purple bag with the ballgown inside.

As she was about to leave, she turned to look at Zailey one last time.

‘What about shoes?’ the older woman called over to her.

She gestured to a pair in the shoe room, adjacent to where they stood. Raina could see a beautiful pair of baby-pink heels with silver flecks. She smiled at how gorgeous they were but shook her head. ‘Can’t afford them. But thank you.’

The dress was so beautiful and gave Raina so much confidence she would happily go barefoot to the Mondays.

‘Thank you, Raina,’ Zailey said as the lift doors were about to close.

‘No. Thank you!’

Raina said the words just before the doors shut neatly in front of her. Solana and Mirren stood at each side, still giddy from the purchase. Zailey’s words would remain private, something between her and Raina.

Solana hugged her older sister, still a little tearful. ‘You looked so beautiful.’

Raina hugged her back and smiled at Mirren.

No matter what happened at the Mondays, right in that moment, Raina felt like she’d already won.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

THE DISABILITY TRACK: EPISODE #78

Guest: Alicia Akintola, neurodivergent fashion designer

RAINA: Neurodivergent women almost learn to mask without realizing it. Can you speak to that at all?

ALICIA: This might seem flippant to some, and I don’t mean it to be. But, to me, masking is like wearing Louboutins. You’re smiling, Raina. Listeners, she’s smiling because she’s partial to the red bottoms!

RAINA: It’s true.

ALICIA: Now, wearing them makes it easier to stand tall. It makes you walk differently. You have a confidence and an ease that makes people respect you. But what happens after a few hours?

RAINA: Yup.

ALICIA: You’re in pain. More than a few hours, it’s agony. Even if you’re used to wearing them. If you never take them off, knee and hip pain. So yeah. Masking saves you in the short term. But the long term? It’s not sustainable. Your brain needs to slip its flats on for a bit.

‘You’re so beautiful.’

Raina laughed, both enchanted and flustered by the softly spoken words. She and Tom were shopping in a supermarket, hardly a romantic place. He was always touching her. In public, in private. He sometimes seemed surprised to find that his hands had slipped onto her hips as they stood in line for a bagel. Raina noticed that he wasn’t a man who sought physical touch in any other aspect of his life. While Raina was sensory-seeking, always touching things with textures that soothed her stimulated hands, Tom avoided shaking hands with people and hated to be crowded by others.

He had no problem pulling Raina into little London side streets though. If the Underground was mobbed, he would find a seat and she would sit on him. He was always holding her hand. Sensually stroking her palm.

Sometimes, if she were discussing sex or romance with a guest on the show, Raina would remember something he’d done to her the night before, or earlier that day, and she would feel herself blush on camera. The stoic, icy and dry-witted man who rolled his eyes on television could turn into the warmest, most carnal man she’d ever gone to bed with, and both sides intrigued her.