Page 69 of Zodiac Monsters

Chapter 32

I hid in my dorm after Astrology club, staring at the light of the full moon through my window, contemplating how I got here and what I was doing with my life. I considered going to sleep, but I felt too anxious to do anything but overthink my entire life.

Flashbacks of Adrian bending me over Marcus’ desk after Astrology Club played through my head, and the way my body reacted to that thought was shameful at best. I was completely torn between these two men, and it wasn’t fair to either of them.

Marcus made it pretty clear that he was all in with me now. He treated me well, and he was figuring out what I liked with more adept understanding than I even had. He was close to my age, easy to talk to, hot as hell, a literal immortal vampire, and he rode a motorcycle. The green flags were so abundant, it was almost suspicious.

His only red flag, in my mind, was that for some unexplainable reason, he wanted me. There had to be something wrong with him, because no one else ever had.

As made clear by exhibit B, my way too aggressive, way too harsh professor, who told me to stay away from him and invited me to an intimate dinner in the same breath. The guy who left a mark on my lip while he kissed me, lost his temper when he saw me with someone else, and demanded I stop thinking about him, while I was bent over a desk, and his lips were brushing my ear.

His sparkles of interest in the blackened surface of his hatred were so intriguing, I couldn’t look away. Those flags were redder than cherry pie, and that spoke to some fucked up part of my self-esteem that was more comfortable with the familiarity of rejection than the suspicious kindness of acceptance.

I hated this. Where was the middle ground? I couldn’t choose one without affecting the other, and until I learned how to reject a mark, we were all stuck in this mess. The only question was, if I did know how to reject one of them, whose mark would I erase?

I grabbed my phone and stared at Adrian’s name in my contacts. I flipped past Ceto’s and landed on Marcus. I scrolled back and forth and back and forth. My thumb hovered over the call button, knowing better than to actually touch it.

Was it bad that I was kind of enjoying the thrill of these full moon nights? Somewhere deep in my gut, I craved how good it felt, how it made my heart race, and the intensity of it all. I should have done the movie night thing with Marcus, but that was so bland and safe and sane compared to, I don’t know, getting eaten out by a fish demon with wings or fucking in an outdoor hot springs while my classmates were in the nearby hotel.

I was definitely a slut on the inside. A slut with problems.

I drew another disappointed breath into my lungs, accepting I was going to go back to a life of safe abstinence, when my phone buzzed on my nightstand. A hot tingle spread through my chest when I saw the name on the screen.

Marcus:How is your night progressing, Baby Doll?

Me:Frustrating.

I replied bluntly. He was probably laughing on the other side of the line. After he’d toyed with me all day, it felt wrong that he’d let me end the night alone in my own bed. But that was at least partially my fault.

Okay, entirely my fault. The second Adrian had asked me to stay after class, my whole heart skipped a beat, and I felt like another dumb girl who was desperate for any scrap of attention he offered. I’d ruined my chance to have any fun tonight, because I was jumping through hoops for the wrong guy.

Maybe that didn’t have to be the end though. Marcus must understand the complexity of the situation, considering he and his brother share some of the same curse. He knew I had both of their marks on me. Maybe he didn’t care? I was assuming the worst, when he was texting me as comfortably as he always did.

Marcus:Need a friendly hand?

That question gave me even more hope. I didn’t want to call it on our relationship yet, and my whole body relaxed at the fact that he wasn’t acting angry or disinterested.

Me:Do you know someone who has one?

I hit send, getting a spike of adrenaline as I made my first decent attempt at flirting. He’d shown me another side of himself today that I hadn’t seen since the night in the hot springs, and I wanted to show him I could match his energy.

Marcus:You have two, silly. But if you need instruction on how you should use them, I’d be happy to offer some instruction.

Me:I’m listening.

I closed my eyes as soon as I finished typing, which only amplified how loudly my pulse was beating in my ears.

When my phone buzzed again, I took a deep breath before I let myself peek at the message.

Marcus:It’ll be easier to give you instructions with a visual. Why don’t you show me what you’re wearing.

Heat prickled all over my body, and I contemplated how bold I was really feeling. I drew in a deep breath, undid a couple buttons on my blouse until my bra was just barely visible at the right angle, then held up my phone and snapped a selfie, looking as cute as I knew how. I took ten or fifteen trying to get the angle, pose, expression, and lighting just right.

Me:Where should I start?

I sent the photo and waited nervously for a response. This was so bad. I wasn’t this flirty and confident. It was dangerous to send photos that I couldn’t ever delete. Even if I was fully dressed, it still felt like a battle between my sound mind and my hormones.

Marcus:You look so tense and nervous, Baby Doll. Lay back, get comfortable. It won’t feel as good if you don’t let go a little.