Page 31 of Zodiac Monsters

Chapter 11

My heartbeat was in my ears, and I was questioning what had compelled me to do this. I managed nervous steps towards the couch, then I took a seat, rigid and upright and trying to talk myself into calming down. All of my relationships had me on edge lately, and I’d forced myself to do this as some sort of trust exercise. But damn if I wasn’t scared.

He was just Marcus. I talked to him daily, we went on dates, we’d kissed, he’d seen me naked, he’d shifted into an insatiable beast and been inside me—why did this feel so much more intimate than all of those things?

Was it because I volunteered? Because I looked at his most dangerous traits, and I told him I wanted him to show me what that truly looked like?

When I committed to this, I did so with the trust and pretense that, while he was the kind of vicious, heartless demon I’d read about in books, I knew Marcus wasn’t going to hurt me. I’d told myself this was safe, and took a trust fall off a jagged spire.

I should be confident. I was the one in control now, as I took our quasi-relationship into new territory while we were both of sound body and mind.

And yet, as he sat beside me on the couch, my whole face was blazing, and I was the insecure, inexperienced nerd all over again.

Maybe I never stopped being that girl. Just because I lost my virginity in particularly spectacular circumstances, that didn’t mean I was suddenly a sexy, confident minx. I was, at my absolute best, confused, timid, and trying to figure out what my life was anymore. It might have been different if he’d invited me over for movie night. I knew where that might end up, and I was open to giving a normal relationship a shot.

But this was so different. He was going to drink from me—take some part of me inside of him, and use my body to sustain his life.

I was overthinking this.

WAS I overthinking this?

The only thing that was certain in my mind, as he placed an arm around me and pulled me against his shoulder, was that, no matter what my reservations might be, I didn’t want any other woman to be in this position with him.

“Deep breath.” He said, whispering into my hair. He nuzzled into my locks, while he rubbed my shoulder.

“Deep breath.” I repeated. Saying the words calmed me down.

“If this is too much for you, we don’t have to do this. I’m okay with using the blood bank. I’ve done it for the last decade, so it doesn’t bother me.”

“W-would you prefer that?” I murmured into the crux of his shoulder, now feeling even more insecure. I was terrible at this. If it was possible to suck at just sitting still and letting a vampire bite you, I’d accomplished that feat.

“Never. But if I’m choosing between you being terrified of me, or surviving on bland human vegetables, I’d give up flavor for function any day.” His gentle laugh shook through me, and I felt like an idiot for ever being afraid of him. “Your mental health matters to me way more than your blood.”

He’s just Marcus, I reminded myself. I’d been grappling with a lot since the night at the hot springs, trying to come to terms with so many things, that I’d pulled away from him. But I didn’t want that. Maybe he’d been right to not tell me what he was and who he was with how I’d been acting now that I knew.

I nudged up closer, then pulled all of my long, dark hair over my outer shoulder. I tilted my chin away to fully expose my neck. “Try again. I can handle it.”

His eyes darkened, and my breathing hitched. He drew a line along the slope of my neck with the softest touch of his fingertips, then he leaned in, his fangs extended, and he sank them into my skin.

It didn’t hurt. I don’t know why it didn’t, but all I could feel was the slight suction as he drank from me. He kept drawing gentle lines up and down my arms as he lost himself to my blood. The touch was innocent and intimate at the same time, and I didn’t want to admit that the gentle way he kept stroking my shoulder was what had my heart racing the most.

“Are you okay?” He asked directly into my mind.

“Yes.”

“Lightheaded?”

“Yes.”

“Is your vision turning black?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you want to know what you taste like?”

I was already hot, and that question took my mind over the edge. The breathy way I said “yes” could only be blamed on the blood loss.

Marcus stopped draining me, and his teeth slid out of my skin, retracting to a normal, human length. Not a single drop spilled from the open wound before he replaced fangs with the soft touch of his tongue. He lapped over the punctures slowly, closing the wounds again.