Page 24 of Zodiac Monsters

“It’s okay, baby.” She attempted to reassure me. “I’m sure you’ll feel differently once you meet little Marcus.”

Dragging my hand down my face, I sank into my arm chair in my dark living room, while old, pained memories bled through my brain.

Marcus was a problem. Ordinarily I simply found him mildly annoying, but he also wasn’t ordinarily taking one of my classes, spending time with a woman who he’d mixed me up with, and placing mating marks on another person. I’d never known him to pursue a singular woman, but then, I’d never taken the time to know him either. As adamantly as I’d avoided him year after year, he was a constant in my life, and even now he was always trying to get my attention.

I hadn’t thought back on the day mother confessed she was pregnant in ages. I didn’t know what had prompted the memory, for that matter. I slumped forward and fisted my hair, recalling the look on father’s face as she introduced the vampire who sired the child, and I rubbed at my temples as I visualized the first time I’d seen my baby half-brother being cradled by my mother. I envisioned, all too vividly, the way my kin’s emotions flowed freely and intensely into my young body, before I knew how to block out the feelings of others.

I’d hated him for that. I’d hated him for so many things that were completely outside his control, and I knew that wasn’t fair. But it didn’t change that his existence had always been maddening for me. He tried to be my friend growing up, but I hadn’t been receptive to it. Every time he’d come up to me, pleading, seeing his big brother with admiration and hope, I recoiled and pushed him away, determined to not fall for the charm of an Emery like my mother had.

Love was what I’d been rejecting then. By the time I was old enough to realize the error of my ways, our relationship was too warped and tainted to repair.

As a result, I would have been happy to go our separate ways as we came into adulthood, but he couldn’t let it lie. The irony was that he’d become the only person whose emotions I couldn’t read anymore. Somewhere along the line, when he’d come into puberty and his vampire and Alpha Leo shifter gifts fully awakened in his soul, I’d lost that connection.

No longer being bombarded by his feelings had calmed some of my anger, but I’d lost any chance of fixing things by that point. I’d already come to rely on my gifts to temper my interactions with others, and when the door to his heart closed, I’d lost any ability to function around him with civility.

I just wished back then that Mother had told me the reason for her affair was because my father had become infertile as a side effect of an incubus successfully impregnating another species. It would have made a world of difference in my attitude if I’d known my father had agreed to finding an outside donor, even if he hadn’t been prepared for how much jealousy it would bring out in him.

No, knowing that sooner probably wouldn’t have changed much for me, really. I felt everything too strongly to think rationally, and they had no idea how much the overload of emotion they subjected me to would affect my ability to form trust and relationships.

Without realizing it, they taught me to hide my own emotions in favor of the more acceptable emotions of others. To avoid punishment, I started feeding on other’s sensibilities and trying to match an energy that won over the room. It made teaching easier, as I could always pull from one of my enthusiastic students to create an upbeat and level headed persona in front of a class.

But when I was alone, I only had myself and my real, true feelings to sink into. It was peace and agony at the same time. There had only been two people in my life who could take that mask from me while in their presence—two people who forced me to interact with them honestly, and didn’t offer a safer emotion I could mimic.

One being him.

The other… her.

Which was perhaps why, on this Sunday night, I was sitting alone in my home in a dark room, my fingers threaded through my hair, and my stress levels at an unreasonable peak.

I reached for my phone, then hesitated, uncertain what I’d intended to do with it. Was I going to call Marcus and ask how his date went? I didn’t care about that. Not him, anyway. I didn’t like how involved he’d become in my life since Lila showed up. This obnoxious little link between us wasn’t going to be what made us bond as brothers after so many years of bad blood.

I had to admit, he’d manipulated this situation masterfully, and I had no real recourse against him. Though many of my weaknesses were his as well, he was confident that I would never stoop to his level, and I couldn’t say he was wrong to be. Unlike my psychotic brother, I didn’t see living, breathing, sentient beings as disposable objects, whether they were human, my energy source, or something else entirely.

Not anymore.

I considered calling Lila instead, only to realize I’d never gotten her number. I didn’t treat her cordially enough for that, and asking her for it would have given her hope. It would be a violation of every code of conduct to use my position of power over her to get her phone number for personal use.

I laughed aloud at the implication. Personal use. Is that what this was now?

I’d already taken her for personal use. A simple phone call or text message would have been sweet by comparison.

I sighed and closed my eyes, while I massaged the bridge of my nose in an effort to stave off a deserved headache.

Happening upon her and Marcus in the hot springs had been somehow both my worst nightmare and expected carnage in the same breath. I’d not done anything, even as her pheromones and feelings exploded through my brain, and I’d been thankful for the small act of resistance I’d been able to uphold despite.

Marking her had given me a degree of control in the sense that I could pick up on her emotions enough to feast on that lust and desire from a safe distance. Additionally, knowing my mate was safe and content, disregarding the source of those feelings, was enough to keep me grounded. I wouldn’t have been nearly as docile if she’d been in legitimate distress or danger, but I’d have been worse than the Capricorn had I stepped into that pool and let myself turn. Nowadays, I had more restraint and discipline than my brother ever would.

Vampires never saw a need for discipline, after all. Why would a blood parasite worry about their hosts?

I stood from my sofa and paced. Only one month separated every full moon, and with already a week down, the moon of Pisces would be here entirely too quickly. That trigger was fairly specific, but it could be easily hit under the wrong circumstance. I wondered what the chances were of her avoiding both of us that night?

Unlikely. Not without intervention.

In this case, I might just have to make sure it’s my intervention that changes her course and not his.