Page 14 of Zodiac Monsters

“Why are you like this?” He groaned, and I laughed.

“Because it’s so boring to take everything seriously, when it’s really not that big of a deal. We’re immortals in college. You’re barely any more of an adult than we are by shifter standards. Why do we have to get so uncomfortable and prudish around the idea of enjoying our natural urges?” Not to mention he was a literal sex demon, but it felt redundant to remind him of the fact.

“There’s nothing natural about a teacher taking his student’s virginity on a cafeteria table. There’s absolutely nothing natural about losing control and nearly killing the girl, only stopping because her pussy was good enough to rip you out of demonic lunar possession.” He said, always so sensitive. Also, surprisingly crass. He really could not keep his head around this topic.

“All of those things are perfectly natural for men like us. Let’s be real for a moment.”

Adrian sighed, because he knew I was right. “Doesn’t that worry you? That you couldn’t stop yourself? Even an Alpha shifter can be killed if you drain them of all blood. Whatever her designation, you legitimately would have murdered her the other night if you hadn’t reverted, Marcus.”

“It sounds so dramatic when you put it that way.” I paused, genuine guilt putting a hitch in my confidence.

He was right, admittedly. If not for the moon losing its influence, I would have gone all the way. I was all but unconscious while I was in that form, and the only reason I knew what had gone on in full was because my body stored the memories for after the fact, dumping the entire ordeal on my psyche like a bursting dam of trauma as soon as I shifted back into human form. If not for whatever unique blood gift she had, I would have eagerly and unapologetically murdered her where she stood.

It might be easy to claim I would have stopped myself, if not for the fact that she wouldn’t have been the first person I’d done that to. That was also my reality. I’d made myself own being a killer, as it was my blood right and heavily normalized among vampires, but the thought of going too far with her hadn’t actually sat well with me.

Still, I couldn’t admit that to Adrian. “I won’t lose control around her again, so it’s not worth fretting over. And if I do, that tight little cunt will make sure I finish before I go too far, so it won’t be a problem.”

“Fucking disgusting. I don’t know why she gives you the time of day.” He scowled. She hardly had been lately, but that was also something he didn’t need to know. “Would you even care if you did kill her? Or is getting off all that matters to you?”

“I’m a vampire, Adrian. Death is a way of life.” I dismissed the question with a non-answer, and to my dismay he immediately picked up on that. His Incubus gifts were only useful when I didn’t want them to be.

“Marcus.” He said sternly. No other words were necessary to get his meaning across. Another thing he got from Mother.

“Yes, of course I would have cared.” I relented before he could badger me. The third thing I wouldn’t be admitting was that I’d truly terrified myself that night. It wasn’t like me to stop, but it also wasn’t like me to give a flying fuck that I hadn’t, and I was still coming to terms with what that meant. I generally found joy and power in murdering basic humans, after all. The world was entirely too civilized these days, so it was a rare and thrilling treat. But the thought of murdering her wasn’t translating with that same glee in my mind. And that was all despite the legal consequences of magic-on-magic crime. “I’m not actually a monster, you know.”

Adrian snorted, and I took mild offense.

“Calling you a monster would be generous, considering how bland your transformation is. No horns, no wings, just some cute little water snakes.” Wow. Unexpectedly savage. “Somehow, I’d expected more. I’m glad you didn’t give me much to compete with, little baby brother.” Adrian was snarky today.

Not a bad burn though, honestly. “Well, we have a date this Sunday for full disclosure, so… we’ll see exactly how disappointed she wasn’t.” I attempted to get the power in the conversation back, but I didn’t have a good comeback yet. Not the least of which because I knew she wasn’t terribly excited about our date. I was giving her grace because this whole debacle was a lot to process for someone who was convinced she was human, but I wasn’t feeling as confident as I’d like to be either.

Adrian raised a brow. “What does full disclosure mean exactly?”

“I already told her we’re related.” That made his eye twitch, though he didn’t say anything about it. “But I haven’t really explained how vampires work and what the marks mean and so on and so forth. So… I guess I’ll first see if I can just compel all of this information away, so she can go back to being naïve and ignorant and sweet, just in case that’s an option. In the likely event that doesn’t work out, I’ll be giving her a rundown of the shifter basics. The monstrous ABCs, if you will. She’d probably appreciate some clue as to what she’s gotten into.”

“Why do I feel like you’re going to give her worse information than what she could find in a bad paranormal B movie?” Always such skepticism with him.

“Because you are a man of little faith.” I waved him off dismissively. “I’ll answer her questions honestly, I promise. Then I can urge her to talk to her parents and figure out what the fuck she is, win over some more trust so she tells me when she finds out, then, I don’t know, rail her in a public bathroom stall?”

“Always the class act, Marcus.” Adrian shook his head, then he turned his back on me to start erasing the whiteboard. It was already plenty clean, but I think he just wanted an excuse to not make further eye contact.

I loved seeing him jealous.

“I am nothing if not a gentleman.” I shrugged. “Speaking of manners, you really shouldn’t worry so much. The focus will be on my existence and her existence. If I can avoid bringing you up at all, that will be preferable, really. Your secrets aren’t mine to tell.”

Adrian genuinely laughed this time, and my nose scrunched at the sound of it. I wasn’t used to the lack of bite and mockery in his tone.

“Since when has that stopped you from making my life harder?” He forced his expression back into one of neutrality as he responded.

“Since right now.” My eye roll was pure punctuation. “Full loss of control humbles a person. I expect that sort of mania during my birth month, but on the night of the Aquarius or the Cancer or whatever the fuck, I’ve always had some ability to wrangle myself back or stop myself from initiating my transformation. Ever since I learned the triggers, I’ve never had an issue avoiding them, no matter how moonstruck I might be.” I couldn’t say why I was telling him this, but I guess we were brothers who shared things now. Feelings, mania, women—normal sibling bonding. I inhaled deeply before I continued. “But this last weekend, I was desperate to fuck up. I wanted to trigger my shift and sink my teeth into her, and I couldn’t think about anything else until I did. It was wild and disturbing, and I understood at least a portion of what you go through. I’m a changed man now. I have empathy and compassion and shit.”

For some reason, that statement was enough to get his full attention again. Adrian set down his eraser and turned to face me. He stared me down like I was as strange and perplexing as our little unknown hybrid.

“Really? You’ve never had full loss of control on a random full moon?” His eyes were unusually wide.

“Not since I learned my triggers.” I corrected my own claim. “I’ve lost control on the night of the Leo, in the sense that I’ve blacked out and woken up in blood, but I’ve never come to with my dick still in my victim. I’ve certainly never been baited into shifting on a night when I should have been in complete control. Even after we went our separate ways, and I was back in the protective glass of the hotel, I just couldn’t let it lie. I tried to, but it was as if I was possessed by the need to make that bad decision.” And I don’t like THAT fact one bit. I didn’t admit the last part out loud. Despite all my taunts and bragging, the honest truth was I was not remotely okay with what she’d done to me. I was the manipulator, and never the manipulated, and I needed to come off as unbothered purely to assure no one else picked up on that moment of weakness.

“Interesting.” He nodded along in understanding, likely having experienced the same thing. We’d never had this conversation at any point in our arduous relationship, so I couldn’t help but be curious as to how his experience differed.