Page 69 of Of Monsters and Mazes

Jericho owned me. I knew that. He owned Rai, he owned the Skolexes, the Tree Sprites, and Centimanes. He owned everything in this realm, and so long as he stood atop his throne, he always would.

But even if he had never ascended to rule, he would always be my soul’s mate, whether I hated him, loved him, feared him, or condemned him.

Which was why I chose Jericho before Alessi, and why I’d choose him before Butterfly. Because until the spy from Olympus learned to accept that Devils were inextricably linked—that we were incapable of loving only one person, and all of our souls were tied together by forced fate—he would always be disappointed in my choices.

But that was fine. It was easier if he hated me. I couldn’t change my lot in life, but he could do anything he wanted, and I didn’t deserve to be something he wanted.

By the last second of the Twilight Clock, Butterfly would hate me too. They were both safer maintaining their distance from our realm and its traditions and magic. After all was said and done, it would be back to business as usual. I had more important things to worry about than misguided affection.

“I’m going to go gather some more firewood.” Alessi spoke softly, like he was trying to save his voice from breaking. I nodded in silent compliance, because I didn’t want mine to either. Then I sat back down on my log, and I sunk my face into my hands. The fire crackled in the quiet night. The Orange Sector was one of my least favorites, but there was no danger outside the jungle. The Cronus weren’t so bold as to march in open air.

I glanced over at the bed I’d made for the woman.

Butterfly was curled up in a ball, hugging my fern woven covering like it was her only security. To her credit, maybe it was. I crouched down beside her and brushed her hair aside, delicately enough that I wouldn’t wake her.

“Sink into her brain, find her worst fears, her darkest fantasies, and her most painful insecurities.” I thought back on those orders as I watched her rest. I wondered what kind of dream she might be having right now. While I was born with the ability to conjure stories in the mind’s eye of all humans, rarely did I take the time to oversee content. Humans were by themselves creative enough to not need my constant monitoring. Who had the time to spend with all that nonsense every single day.

Pressing my thumb to her temples, I sank into her mind for only a glimpse. Her dreams were quiet. Peaceful. Like she was too exhausted to conjure much more than recent memories. She thought about Alessi, imagining his touch with more gentle care than he’d shown her in reality. A pang of jealousy hit me in the chest, and I didn’t know where that came from.

I couldn’t even say who it was for.

I chewed on my lip and pulled out of her mind. It would be so easy to break her right now. If I returned her to the beginning of the maze, disrupted her timing, and made her lose the whole game, she’d at least be safe. Here, she’d be facing off against the Cronus, and even with Alessi and I at her side, I wasn’t comfortable with those odds. We were stronger, but they had sheer numbers. So really, I’d be protecting her if I stopped the game here and now.

Protecting her.

I repeated that phrase over and over, trying to justify it to myself.

Protecting her, or protecting myself? Who was I really looking out for in the end? She was an idiot to think me a friend, when all I would bring was her ruin. Alessi had made that mistake. She was doing the same. What was it that made them so quick to trust me? Was there something I was doing to plant those seeds? I didn’t deserve constant forgiveness and second chances.

I withdrew my hand and severed any possible connection before I closed my eyes, drew a full breath through my nose, and sunk into my own memory. I placed my hand idly over the scar on my heart, recalling the sensation as my childhood friend carved into me with my own broken horn, deep enough to graze my rib cage.

I could still see the wicked grin on Jericho’s face. I could still hear his laughter.

When did I become so fucking sensitive?

I wouldn’t betray her yet. I didn’t have to be the one to stab the knife in. There were still plenty of obstacles ahead. All I had to do was take a step back and wait, and this whole situation would handle itself.

Shoving my hand through my hair, I glanced back towards the campfire. Alessi had returned with wood. The last thing I wanted to do now was to resume our last conversation, so I hesitated to rejoin him by the firelight.

No, I’d let him take this shift.

I crouched back down, and I laid in the mud beside Butterfly’s bed. I rested my head on my arm and my hand atop hers. Her eyes fluttered open despite her obvious and heavy exhaustion.

“How are you doing?” I whispered quietly when she met my gaze.

The lift to her lips was subtle but noticeable. “Better now.”

The uncomfortable irregular beat of my heart made my breathing hitch for a second. “I shouldn’t have left you alone in the Green and Yellow Sectors.” I wasn’t trying to help her, but for no explainable reason, I also felt like it was important I say that.

“I was fine.” Her smile didn’t waiver. Which was especially confusing since there was no reason she should be smiling at all. “Alessi took good care of me.” She squeezed my fingers. “But I’m glad you came back.”

Stunned, I just stared at her. “Why?”

Butterfly rolled her eyes with that playful look she so often wore. “I already told you. You’re my friend.”

“My whole job is to slow you down.”

“I know.” She squirmed a little closer.