Page 66 of Of Monsters and Mazes

Admittedly, I hated feeling like I needed a man—let alone more than one—but… it was also nice to feel like I had someone other than myself that I could rely on for once. Too many of my past relationships had put me in the role of the dominant figure, where I was still the one who had to pull up my sleeves and get dirty, hold down the fort, make the big decisions, and keep the relationship afloat. I was putting in the emotional and physical and financial labor, and while I could proudly say I was mostly succeeding, if the amount of my ex’s happy, oblivious coasting was a testament to my success, I still wished someone would take care of me for once. Some days, being fiercely independent felt like more of a trauma response than what I actually wanted.

It was like being independent and successful at my job attracted men looking for a mother, and being strong attracted men looking for someone who could be the man they never had in their lives. Anyone else either wanted a girl they could better control, or they were too intimidated to speak to me.

Was it so wrong and disgraceful to want to go home and not have to be alone against the world? To have one, single place in my life where someone else would pick up some of the slack and let me rest? This whole ordeal has just shown me how incredibly tired I’d become of always doing the most. I could live my life single and strong, but maybe it was okay if I wanted a man in my life for more than just sex. Maybe I was allowed to like being taken care of, being saved, and being protected with an equal energy that I gave everything else.

I thought on that for a while, wrestling with the unexplainable sense of shame. This wasn’t the time to be weak and needy. Pumpkin was counting on me, and I was the only one who could be his hero. None of this was about my wants and dreams. Not to mention that there was absolutely no reason to be dwelling on what I wanted in a relationship when I was surrounded by immortal demons from hell. That was a struggle for another time, once I survived this and could jot the whole thing down as a strange, confusing chapter in my rear view mirror that I would never speak of again. I already had enough reasons I appeared certifiably insane.

Focus on the task at hand, Sela.

Another big yawn had my eyes drooping, reminding me once more how badly I needed to get some sleep. Maybe Jericho had given me so much time to allot for the fact that I was human and needed rest. It would be no use arriving at the castle as a total hot mess, ready to collapse from exhaustion. What good would I be to anyone then?

But… was this a safe place to do that? I didn’t know Orange from Yellow from Green from Blue from anything else. All I knew for sure was that it wasn’t cold and the walls weren’t going to eat me, but otherwise absolutely anything could be hiding in that darkness.

Even the most innocuous things felt threatening in this maze. Could I trust the plants? Would the trees steal my senses again? Were the ferns laced with poison? Could the humidity melt my skin? Was there a monster hiding in that swamp? Who fucking knows. This was a magic world of endless possibilities, after all. It could suck in ways I could never begin to imagine.

Which was saying something since, personally, I saw myself as a pretty imaginative person. I’d come up with the entire Den of Death IP, and people still wrote fan fiction about that fucked up world some ten years later. I was pretty proud of that, actually.

Although the thought that I’d spurred on young women’s love affairs with toxic, monstrous men maybe didn’t feel like the badge of honor it once was, considering my current lot in life. Fucking zombies in a post-apocalyptic wasteland still seemed more functional than anything I was dealing with though.

I glanced waywardly at my red haired companion, who could manifest a large fluffy tail and the cutest ears, while still having a sharp jaw line and an attractive, rugged masculinity. He sported a personality that could turn from sweet to savage on a dime, steeped in motivations that no one knew or understood.

I then glanced at Theron, who was covered in deep scars, had a skull adorned with devil horns, and introduced himself by nailing my ankles to a board in a room full of rotting corpses.

We won’t even start on Jericho, who brought me here in the first place, because I couldn’t resist his demeaning and arrogant pickup lines.

I even thought on the fact that a hulking demon with one hundred hands and, consequently, five-hundred skilled fingers, made me come all over his arm, because I was so sexually frustrated that my pussy was fluttering every time anyone gave it attention.

I thought long and hard about how I came to be such a mess in life, and I apologized internally to my mother who truly tried to do right by me. I could have been well adjusted. I could have been one of those girls who dated the sweet cinnamon roll of a man who worshipped the ground I walked on, like I was his manic pixie dream girl, while he was my stable, confidence building cheerleader.

Maybe Rai was like that. I didn’t know much about the Minotaur yet. Sure, he’d skewered me with icicles a few times on first meeting, but maybe he was just protecting his maze. I couldn’t pass judgment on a puppy just because he barked when he found an intruder in his home. There was hope for me yet.

How the mighty have fallen.

“Are you coming?” Alessi interrupted my incredibly disturbing inner monologues, and I was thankful for that perfect, beautiful purr of a voice he had. I’d like to say I was mature enough to answer that question without first thinking about the fact that he knew damn well when I was coming, considering the sheer number of times he’d made me do so in last sector. But I wasn’t. I would never be that mature. I hadn’t been in my twenties, I still wasn’t in my thirties, and I wouldn’t be in my forties, fifties, sixties, or nineties.

Fortunately, I was currently professional and put together enough to not say that out loud, and instead I followed with, “I actually wanted to ask if this might be a safe enough space to get some rest.”

Alessi frowned then looked to Theron like he was going to give me a better answer.

“In the Orange Sector?” Alessi paused for an extended moment, and I wondered what kind of memories he might be reliving. “We’d have to sleep in shifts, but this is likely the safest place to attempt such a thing, really.”

“Shifts?” I scanned the densely vegetated pathways for some hint as to what might dwell in the darkness.

“Yes, shifts.” Theron walked past Alessi and started gathering firewood. “The sun will be setting soon anyway, so rest isn’t a bad idea. It’ll be better to navigate this sector in daylight.”

I frowned at the non-explanation, then stared up at the ticking clock in the orange sky again. I’d have to take his word for it that it was going to get dark soon. The atmosphere had seemingly turned a slightly deeper shade of red if I squinted hard enough.

“What’s the gimmick of the Orange Sector?” I asked next, specifically turning to Alessi. Considering he didn’t seem particularly aligned with Jericho, maybe he’d actually tell me. I’d given up on asking Theron questions at this point.

“You’re looking at it.” Alessi twitched partially shifted ears as he nodded toward the dense trees with orange leaves. I’d noticed he shifted from fully human to fox-eared whenever he looked mildly distressed, and that was telling all its own. I wondered what he looked like when fully transformed, and what kind of event would trigger such a thing.

“I don’t understand.” I said as I stared into the wilderness.

“Wild, untamed jungle, and everything that comes with it.” Theron chimed in. “Some quick ground rules. Do not drink the water. Do not wander anywhere at all without us. And if you hear a rattle: scream as loud and as shrill as you can.” He dropped another pile of wood in a small clearing on the outskirts of the sector. “Other than that, this is a perfectly safe place to sleep.”

Theron began breaking leaves off ferns and setting them in a rectangular pile. He took surprising care to tear away hard stems and place all of the leaves evenly and orderly. Next, he grabbed some more ferns and started weaving them together like he was making a primitive blanket from scratch.

Wait…