Page 82 of Lowering His Guard

I scowl at him. “Yes, I’m certain. I’ve been planning to retire after this season for months.”

He crosses his arms and leans against the wall. “But you’re still playing well. You’re not injured.”

The way he is. He won’t discuss it, so I don’t bother to ask. But his shoulder is fucked. I seriously don’t know how he’s managing to practice every day. It must be sheer agony.

“I’m getting old. It’s time.”

His eyes sharpen. “It’s time. Or you’re retiring for Jace?”

“Yes, I’m retiring to spend more time with Jace. He’s sixteen. He’ll be out of the house in two years. I want to spend some quality time with him before he becomes his own man and doesn’t need his old man anymore.”

“You can play football and spend quality time with him. The activities aren’t mutually exclusive.”

I growl. “Yes, they are. We spend months traveling for games. Those are months I’m away from my son. I’m done spending my life separated from my son.”

He grimaces. “Can’t you have both?”

“Is this about me or about you?”

He rears back. “What?”

I cock an eyebrow. “Are you going to deny Terri’s pregnant?”

His eyes widen and he scans the hallway. “Keep it down. She doesn’t want anyone knowing.”

“The entire island knows.”

He threads a hand through his hair. “I know. But she’s living in the land of denial. Pretending no one knows. Getting mad when they bring up the pregnancy. It’s fucking exhausting.”

I start to respond but he holds up a hand.

“I don’t want to discuss my situation. It’s completely different than yours.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “What do you want?”

“I want you to keep playing. I don’t want you to retire. Did Jace ask you to retire?”

“No.”

“Jace gets along with the players. He’s a good kid. He’s not suffering because you play.”

He doesn’t get it. It’s not about Jace suffering because I’m playing. It’s about us not spending time together. Not building an unbreakable connection before he leaves the house for good.

“Think about it man.” Nolan slaps my shoulder before making his way into the locker room.

I stare after him. Is he right? Can I keep playing without it harming Jace? Do I not need to give up the game I love? Do I not need to figure out who I am without football?

But what about May? She lives on Smuggler’s Hideaway. I live in Steel City. Except if I retire, I can live anywhere. Including on Smuggler’s Hideaway. Where I could start a gym since there isn’t one.

The idea of a gym holds merit. After all, I love to work out. And everyone should have the opportunity to get fit. Maybe I don’t need to figure out who I am anymore. Maybe I already know.

Coach Knox steps into the hallway. “Time for practice.”

I shove all the swirling thoughts out of my mind. The football field needs my full concentration.

Chapter 26

Drop-In – When someone steals a wave that isn't theirs, nobody wins.