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Kyer stared for a moment, then made a low hum in his throat.
“Can I go now?” Luka gritted out, keeping his eyes shut and his neck pulled back as if he could escape his own limb.
“You can,” Kyer answered before Lily could.
Luka quickly rolled his shirt back in place as he turned to leave.
“Stay where I can see you,” Lily called as he wandered back toward Silas’ tent. She turned to Kyer. “They’re on his other arm too. What do you think?”
“You’re right. They look like punctures of some kind. And there’s so many… I don’t know what to make of it.”
“I like your ghostsoil, life extending theory. It’s something to go off of, but why Luka? Why was he subjected to something like that as a Hazevale incarnation?”
“I’ll do some digging. See what I can find.” Kyer placed a strong, reassuring hand on her shoulder. She noticed a brand of the sun on the back of his hand—Reatia’s insignia. She didn’t remember him having the Swarm’s service mark before. “You doing okay?”
The question was an immediate reminder she was here against her will. Lily shied away from his touch.
His voice continued to soften. “I have a job to do—”
“I understand that,” she blurted. “I really do. I don’t bear any ill will toward you. I’d like—” She straightened herself. “I’d like to just talk to you. Not to bargain for anything or to try and get something from you. I just want you to listen.” Lily glanced at his stupid, understanding face, and the words kept spilling out. “I don’t want you to think I never appreciated what you did for me and that I didn’t know you cared. I’m sorry I hurt you, Kyer. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I never came back, but I can’t tell you I’m sorry I left.”
Kyer’s smile was gentle, taking her back to the first time she came out of her room in his home in Rimore. “I know, and I believe you. And speaking not as a major for Rimore’s army, I don’t want you to be.”
Lily paused. She assumed he was still a general. “Major?”
Kyer shrugged indifferently.
“Amalia demoted you?” Lily’s eyes widened. “She blamed you for me leaving? You didn’t know! No one did except for Zander.”
“I was responsible for you.”
“Gods, Kyer, I’m so—”
“It’s fine. This is so much less stressful,” he teased. Lily snorted, and Kyer chuckled. “I get to work alongside Sterling again, and as much as I hated the little prick when he was younger, he’s grown into a fine lieutenant. Amalia’s older son took my place a few years ago. He’s far better and younger for the job.” He scratched at his stubble on his chin. “I can’t say I’m sorry for how everything worked out either.”
The sob building in her chest faded. “Really?”
He nodded. “Zander’s blessing thought it was best you leave.”
He shared the same one as Aarin—a heightened intuition that helped them decide which choices were right or wrong. “But I lied to him. I told him I was coming back, that all I needed was time. I—”
“Did you mean it?”
She wavered. “I did—I mean, I thought I did.”
Kyer’s smile only grew. “It was for the best.”
“But…” This must be what Luka felt like when she tried to reassure him. “I ruined everything. Disappointed everyone. And what about Amalia?” Rumor had it, Kyer’s soul had served the Argents for generations. He was one of Amalia’s most respected soldiers. “She must’ve been furious to strip you of your rank.”
“Still is too,” Kyer said with a chuckle. “You can bet your ass she won’t make it easy for you either. She’ll use this boy for as much as she can get out of you when you get back. Doesn’t mean you have to bend over backwards for her. Keep doing what you’re doing. There’s nothing you did you weren’t meant to do.”
Lily groaned at his last sentiment. Though everyone in Rimore and Zaitrerin meant well, their condolences—insisting that the loss of her family was simply a part of the grand destiny her Flare had etched into the stars long before she was born—irritated her to no end. What was meant to help her accept her soul only made her resent it more. “Don’t start this.”
“What? After all this time, you still don’t believe this is what the Wraith had planned for you all along? At the very least, I expected you to use it as an excuse in favor of your little stunt.”
“Because the Wraith didn’t take me to Reave. I did. I wanted to see it for myself, and that’s it. Besides, I was there so long before I found him. It was an accident. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“You don’t believe you were meant to find him, but believe you can reestablish the connection with your Flares?”