Page 43 of Breached

We drove for about five or six minutes until Paul tapped Mark on the shoulder.

“This is good,” he said. “Hold it here.” Then he pulled a pair of binoculars from his bag and jumped out. We could hear him climb up on the bed of the truck behind us. “We’ve got five trucks.” Paul’s voice flowed through Mark’s speaker phone. “They’ve stopped and are looking inside the windows of Frank’s Jeep.”

Frank spoke up. “Is Bruno there?”

“We hope not,” Mark hissed and shot a look at Frank. I dropped my eyes and stared at my hands.

Frank began to rock in his seat. “He needs to go—needs to be stopped!”

“And I need you to stop!” Mark snapped. “You went too far back there. What if we hadn’t gotten there before you tried that stunt? Trust me, you wouldn’t be breathing if Paul got his hands on you.”

“Three, two, one,” Paul said, and suddenly the truck rattled as an explosion went off.

I covered my mouth when the realization hit. Paul had set off the vest. The thought that it could have been me in the center of that made me feel sick as he swung back inside the truck next to me. He tapped Mark on the shoulder and said something I couldn’t understand. Mark replied, then music was turned on. Paul reached for me, slid an arm around my shoulders, and pulled me to him.

“I need to get out of here.” I fumbled for the door handle as the truck suddenly became too small.

“Look,” Paul grabbed the door to hold it shut as Mark took off again, “I get we have a ton of shit to work out,” he whispered for only me to hear, “but right now I need you to be okay with me holding you because, believe it or not, I’m about ready to kill someone, and I need you to ground me. Call me selfish, but I don’t care. I need you.”

I broke. I hated that I did, but I broke into sobs, and he wrapped me in his arms. I buried my face in his chest and let it out—well, some of it. The Eric Noah stuff would have to wait.

The expressions of concern from the guys as I boarded the plane were enough for me to take a seat far at the back and curl into a ball. They kept Frank near the front behind a curtain. I was happy he was out of my sight.

Cole wanted to talk about everything that had happened, but thoughts of their betrayal had started to seep in. All those men had preached about how keeping secrets ruined people, yet they had kept a huge one from me. I thought back to my escape from Mexico and how they even had the nerve to cast doubt about my reasons for putting Chase on the news. That still stung. Anyway, it was all pot-kettle-black as far as I was concerned. Once Cole could see I didn’t have it in me, he left me alone. I shut down and blocked out everyone except my own thoughts. I needed time to process it all.

After my breakdown with Paul in the truck, the drugs in my system finally wore off and my mind was able to think clearly. I still found myself questioning that he had been Eric Noah.

Besides the obvious feeling of anger and betrayal, I felt embarrassed that I was the only one who hadn’t known. I was, after all, a fifteen-year seasoned field reporter, and I’d fallen for a man who lived a double life. Not only a double life, but I knew both of his lives!

Once I let those thoughts come to the forefront, then came the avalanche of everything else—that he had been in love with Talya Canos, the heir of a Cartel family and Chase was their son—that hurt the most.

From the moment I met Blackstone, I now realized they had lied to me. They said they were in Mexico looking for the child, the heir of the Canos Cartel family. I had seen Eric and Talya together and had witnessed their love for one another. I had to admit he’d never looked at me the way he had her. My heart broke all over again at the thought.

My stomach rolled, and I pushed my forehead into my knees and wrapped my arms tighter around my legs. How could I have been so stupid?

Flashbacks of my Eric Noah encounters spun in a loop—stopping at the one where I was showing Paul that video of Eric and Talya at the restaurant. It was just before we left. Looking back, his body language was off—he even closed the laptop and changed the topic.

The signs were there.

I couldn’t believe how many times I called Eric a monster to Paul’s face. I had believed it at the time, but for everyone in the room to hear me…the glances and conversations they must have had after I left the room made my face burn.

Finally, exhausted from it all, I had to force myself to stop thinking. I slipped into autopilot and stayed in a tight ball for the rest of the trip and later kept my eyes shut in the chopper for the last of the journey to Shadows.

“Nicole.” I heard Paul’s voice as he tapped my shoulder. I jumped as I realized we had landed. “Time to go.”

I unstrapped, grabbed my bag, and rushed off the metal beast. Paul followed but kept a good distance. Smart man, because after my time of going through it all, any sadness I’d felt now had churned into anger.

As I came down the hill toward the main house, I saw the families greeting everyone with smiles and laughter. Though it was touching, I felt nothing. I felt like I didn’t belong.

Doc Roberts made a beeline for me, and I wished I could escape, but there was nowhere to go. “Welcome back, Ms. Winter.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I moved my purse in front of me. I needed to create space between us. I saw he got my body language.

“I understand that was a difficult trip for you.” He studied me to gauge my reaction, but I remained like stone. “We have a protocol here at Shadows. Whenever anybody goes through something as shocking as you have, you must see one of the therapists.”

I knew of the requirement, as I’d been told about it by Ivy, but it only fueled my anger. I stopped short and looked at him and made no attempt to lower my voice as he had.

“Just so I understand, are you saying I need to seek help for the fact that I went through a vehicle accident, which led to a shoot-out? Or that a general in the United States military strapped a suicide vest to my chest and told me to go walk to my death? Or are you referring to when I discovered that this entire place and the man I was dating had been lying to my face about who he really is since I met him?” Everyone around me went silent. “Certainly, Doc,” I nodded, “I’ll take the time to visit one of you to make sure my head is screwed on right.”