Page 95 of You Fall First

“For the record, I didn’t snoop,” she’s quick to say. “I wasn’t jealous or suspicious at all. In fact, I was so confident in us, I rented an apartment in Asheville to be near him. I even lined up a job there.” She gives her head a shake. “What I didn’t do was ask if he wanted those things. If he wanted me. So one day, just before I was set to move, he left his phone out on the table, face up, with his texts open to a thread between him and another woman.”

I squint. “Amelia?”

“He didn’t even try to hide it.” Jo cocks her head. “When a new text came in—her wishing him luck—I couldn’t help seeing it. Then above that was text after text about how he needed to end things with me. Claiming he’d tried before, but I wouldn’t take the hint. He wanted her so much and couldn’t wait to be with her. Stuff like that.”

Man. Now I wish I would’ve really punched the guy. “He said all this to her, and not you?”

“Yep. The most mortifying moment in my life,” she confesses. “And if I’m being honest, he wasn’t wrong. How he handled things was, but … I was clingy and desperate.”

My torso constricts. “Don’t take the blame for his bad behavior.”

“At least he never cheated on me.” Her lips purse. “Or so he says.”

“What he did was emotional cheating, though. And cowardly.”

She smiles weakly. “Him picking Amelia over me makes sense, though. I’m never anybody’s first choice. Their one and only. Their person.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right someone.” The words come out gritty, full of a protective instinct that’s not mine to feel. But to be honest, I don’t love the thought of anyone else choosing Jo. In any way. “Whoever finally gets you will be the luckiest guy on the planet.”

Her laugh is jagged. “Finally. That’s hilarious.”

“No, I mean it.”

“Yeah, right.” She smirks. “Except for the part where I might be permanently broken.”

“Aw, come on.” This is too much, and I shake my head in amused protest. “You’re talking about me now.”

“You?” She tips her chin, all signs of teasing gone. “You’re not broken. You’re so strong.”

“Nah. Not strong.” My jaw shifts back and forth. “I’m just busy super-gluing the Stadlers back together.”

Her eyes are soft, blue, deep. “That’s your job?”

“It is.”

She pauses. “And why, exactly?”

The question is so pure, so gentle, I can’t help myself.

I say it.

“Because. I wasn’t there for my mom when she passed. Or my dad, either.”

Jo doesn’t move for a long moment. “What happened, if you don’t mind my asking?”

I realize I don’t. For some reason, I want to tell somebody.

I want to tell her.

“What happened is, everyone told me I didn’t need to come home,” I say. “And I listened. After all, my mom’s surgery was supposed to be routine, and Paige was gonna be there. My dad, too. As it turns out, though, that fine print in the pre-op paperwork is there for a reason. And by the time her doctor called me … it was too late.”

Jo slowly leans forward now.

Says nothing.

So I keep going.

“When my dad’s heart gave out, I was on a plane home, so I missed that too.” I take a beat. “Paige and I told ourselves he just wanted to follow her, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that things would’ve been different if I’d been there in time. For both our parents.” I pause for a breath. Exhale. “So I made a promise—right then—that I’d always be there for Paige. No matter what. And at this point, I’m honestly not sure who I’d even be if I wasn’t putting her and Dutton first.”