Page 76 of The Refuge

Chapter 14

Catrìona popped a last berry into her mouth, noticing the fading light coming through the window. The evening meal had just finished and she wanted to glimpse the sea before the sun’s light was gone. She asked the queen if she might be permitted a walk outside.

Margaret looked at her with an understanding expression. “Go. ’Twill do you good.”

Catrìona thanked the bishop for a fine meal and headed toward the peg where her cloak hung near the door, but before she reached it, the king’s captain sprang to his feet and snatched up the green woolen garment and draped it over her shoulders.

“Might I accompany you, my lady?”

She had hoped Steinar would go with her. He had said little since their encounter in the forest and she was hoping for some time alone with him to clear the air between them. The constant rain they had experienced on their way to St. Andrews had left them no time to talk. However, in the stern set of Colbán’s jaw, she sensed “nay” was not going to be an acceptable reply. “Of course. Your company is welcome, sir.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the queen smile.

If Catrìona was less than enthusiastic, Colbán did not appear to notice. But she was certain Audra did. A glance in the lady’s direction revealed Audra’s hazel eyes following her and the king’s captain as they left the abbey. To Catrìona’s disappointment, Steinar’s gaze was focused on his wine.

Outside, she and Colbán strolled in silence beyond the abbey to the edge of the grass-covered land, looking seaward across the sand. Waves gently rushing to shore a stone’s throw away hissed as they met the sand. The sound was soothing to her ears.

In the distance, darkening clouds hung heavy over the sea. She looked behind her where slashes of rose and gold intruded between layers of gray and blue at the horizon as the sun gave a parting glance to the land.

Taking in the beauty of the setting sun, she turned back to the sea. “I was raised on Loch Lomond and the River Clyde. Today has given me my first look at the North Sea.”

Colbán spoke in his deep, warrior’s voice. “Then I am pleased you are seeing it with me.”

“You are from Moray?” She knew little of his home except it was the land of Mac Bethad, King Malcolm’s old enemy.

“Aye. My youth was spent far to the north. But during the last ten years I have served Malcolm, we have sailed many of Scotland’s waters together.”

Catrìona gave him a quick sidelong glance, thinking he could not yet have seen thirty summers. “You must have been a young warrior when you came to Dunfermline.”

He stared into the distance. “I was. It seems a very long time ago.”

“Will you return to your home one day?” she asked, wondering at the same time if she wanted to return to the Vale of Leven. The land was now the king’s and there was no home for her to return to.

“Nay, I think not. I have made my home with Malcolm and my loyalties are here. I expect to serve him and his sons for the rest of my days.” He turned from staring at the sea to stare at her. Even without looking at him she felt the heat of his gaze. “But I do want a wife and sons of my own.”

Slowly, she turned to meet his intense gaze, much like that of the fierce bear she had thought him to be. “Surely the king will honor your wish.” To forestall him saying the words his eyes were speaking, she said, “Have you considered Audra? Duff’s daughter is a kind woman and her father is a great warrior, favored by the king. She would make a wonderful wife.”

“Aye, mayhap she would. I like her well enough. But her mother and younger brothers were murdered by Mac Bethad…”

Catrìona hesitated, the truth dawning on her.

“…of Moray,” he finished, turning away to look at the sea.

“Oh,” she said, and then remembering when it had happened, she added, “But surely Audra would not charge you with their deaths. You must have been very young.”

“I was twelve summers that year. I did not fight with Mac Bethad.” He turned to face her. “But he was our king and before that, he had been the Mormaer of Moray. Many in my family fought at his side. They might have been among the men who killed Duff’s wife.”

What she had seen in Audra’s eyes bespoke a longing for the king’s captain, mayhap even love, not loathing, but it would take more than Catrìona’s words to persuade this stubborn man Audra cared for him no matter he was from Moray.

“’Tis no matter,” he said, interrupting her thoughts, “for I have another in mind to take as my wife.”

He paused then, his eyes boring into her and then his gaze dropped to her lips. Catrìona sensed he wanted to kiss her, might even try to repeat the demanding kiss he had given her in the woods. She could not tell him her heart belonged to another, one whose kisses robbed her of breath, nor would he hear of Audra’s desire for him. It was all such a muddle.

Wanting to discourage him, she said, “’Tis best to choose one who is willing, sir.”

In a tone she had heard him use in commanding his men, he said, “All women are willing in time.”

She couldn’t resist the laughter that bubbled up in her chest for the arrogance of his words. “You do not lack for confidence.”

He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. “Confidence, madam, comes from skill, practice and experience, as any warrior will tell you.” Raising his head and thrusting his shoulders back, he said, “When it comes to women, I possess all three.”