Page 21 of Saint’s Revenge

"It wouldn't have been your fault."

"Yes, it would have." My voice comes out firmer than I intend. Certain. Because I've spent five years knowing this truth and I can't pretend otherwise. "I left you behind. I knew what he was becoming and I left you there anyway because saving myself was easier than trying to save both of us."

"Lucas…"

"I'm not saying it to make you comfort me," I interrupt. Need her to understand this. "I'm saying it because it's true. I made a choice five years ago. It kept me alive but it left you in danger. And I have to live with that."

She stares at me. Those eyes that used to hold so much mischief now holding something harder. Older. But still familiar. Still hers.

"Then live with it," she says. "But don't let it destroy you. Don't become what you hate because you can't forgive yourself."

I look at her, broken ribs, bruised jaw, blood still in her hair, and she's the one telling me not to destroy myself.

"How do I do that?" My voice cracks.

"I don't know." She reaches for my hand. Grips it with what little strength she has. "But maybe we figure it out together."

"Together."

"Yeah." Her voice is barely a whisper. "If you want. If you'll stay this time."

The urge to tell her everything, that I've loved her since we were kids, that leaving her was the hardest thing I've ever done, that I've thought about her every single day, it's overwhelming.

But she's broken. Injured. Barely holding herself together. This isn't the time to add the weight of my feelings to everything else she's carrying.

"I'm not going anywhere." I lean down. Press my forehead against hers. Keep my voice steady even though everything in me wants to shake apart. "I swear to God, Riley. I'm never leaving you again. Never."

"Okay."

"I mean it."

"I know you do." She closes her eyes. More tears fall. "I've always known you, Lucas. Better than anyone. And I know when you make a promise, you keep it."

My breath is shaky against her skin. Everything in me wants to kiss her. Wants to hold her tighter. Wants to confess things I've kept buried for years.

But she needs rest. Not me falling apart all over her.

"I missed you," I tell her instead. Keep it simple. Safe. "Every day. Every single day for five years."

"I missed you too." Her voice is barely audible. "You were the only good thing in that whole town. The only person who made me feel like maybe I deserved something better than what we had."

"You deserved everything better."

"So did you."

We stay like that. Foreheads pressed together. Hands gripping tight. Both of us crying and breathing and just existing in the same space for the first time in five years.

Then a knock at the door.

I pull back reluctantly. Wipe my face. "Yeah."

The door opens, and Phoenix steps in.

"How is she?" he asks, voice low.

"Stable. Three broken ribs, extensive bruising, possible concussion. But stable."

Phoenix nods. Looks at Riley. "You're safe here. For as long as you need."