Page 211 of Red Marked

He pulls back, frowning.

“What is it?” He lets go of my jaw. “Is it the other females? Star, I’m sorry. I swear, it was a handful of times, and they meant nothing. If I’d known you were alive, I never would have⁠—”

“It’s not that.” I shake my head. “Not at all. I would never have expected you to be alone for five years. I’m shocked you didn’t mate someone else.”

“What is it, then?” His voice is gentle. His brown eyes are filled with concern.

“I’ve changed. Being in that jungle changed me. I’m not the female you once knew.”

“I love you no matter what, Star. You have to know that. We’ll get to know each other again. I love you.”

He says it so easily. Like it’s the answer to everything.

“I know you do.” I take his hands off my waist and hold them for a second, then let go. “And I’m grateful. But I don’t know if I feel the same as I did before.”

I’m trying to do this gently.

“It’s going to take time, babe.” He nods. “I get that. We’ll get back on track, one step at a time. Come on. Let’s go and surprise your parents. They should be home.” His eyes brighten, and then they turn sad. “They were broken after you died. I sat in that kitchen with them week after week. They never got over it. Not really.” He blinks a few times. “Neither did I.”

My eyes sting. I swallow.

Shit.

Why does this have to be so hard?

“I can’t wait to see their faces.” He’s already looking around for his keys.

I could let him drive me. I could put this off until tomorrow. Until next week. I could let him have today, but that would be wrong.

“Jett.” I wait until he looks at me. “I don’t feel the same about you as I did before. It’s gone, just like that version of me is gone.”

“What do you mean?” The keys are in his hand now. “Look, you’ve been through hell. Give it a few days. I’ll make up the spare room. I won’t push you for anything. Let’s see how you feel in time. Please, babe.”

“A few days won’t change anything. I know it won’t.”

“Don’t say that.” He drops the keys on the coffee table. “Please don’t. I have never stopped loving you. From the first moment I set eyes on you, I was a goner. I fell head over heels. My parents love you. They grieved as hard as I did. I love your folks. I helped raise Koda, Star. Don’t throw all of that away. I’m begging you.”

“I know you did, and I know you love me. I do. I’m grateful.” I pull in a breath. “I know you care. There’s still a part of me that loves you, but not the same way. I think…I love you more like a friend.”

“You sound unsure.”

“I’m not.” I make myself hold his eyes. “I don’t love you in that way, Jett. It’s over between us.”

His face crumples.

Then he’s crying. Tears run down his cheeks and drip off his chin. He doesn’t wipe them.

What the hell?

“Don’t say that.” He cries a little harder.

No! No!

“No. Please don’t cry.” I feel sick. I did this to him. “Jett, I’m so sorry. I wish it could be different. I wish I felt differently. I don’t.” I breathe. “If you could give me a ride to my parents’ house, I’d appreciate it. I have made up my mind. I’m sorry, Jett.”

“I wish you’d think about it.” He drags his sleeve across his face. “You’re being rash.”

“I’m not being rash. I’ve had five years to do nothing but think.”