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“How long has she been out?” I heard my mothers voice but felt too weak to open my eyes. I felt loss but when Heaven’s face popped into my mind, my eyes popped open, as I looked around wildly, panicking. I was at Matthew’s house, my heart beat slowed down a bit.

“She’s in shock, what she did tonight is something a normal person like her would never do.” Matthew my savior looked on edge as he paced back and forth.

“You have to get rest and get ready to leave in the morning, son.” I heard a deep voice talking but didn’t have the energy to look to see who it was.

“I can’t leave her like this! I didn’t get to her in enough time. I have to make sure that she is okay!” Matthew yelled.

“What exactly did my daughter do?” I heard my father's voice and gathered my strength to sit up. I was wrapped in a sheet from Jarei’s house. It was the sheet that Heaven slept on. I quickly took it off, not wanting any reminders of being in that house. I realized that I was naked, so I had no choice but to cover myself back up.

“I killed three people, daddy.” My voice croaked. “Jarei and his pregnant girlfriend were raping me. He was holding me captive beating me every day and I snapped and tried to kill him, but she jumped in front of the gun. I didn’t mean to kill her; I don’t even think I meant to kill him, but I was just so tired of it all. I was tired of fighting him and being torn down. He went too far this time and I-“my mom stopped me by putting her arms around me and holding me tight.

My father eased up on us and put his arms around both of us. I could feel their emotions as well as mine as I sobbed and poured my heart out through tears.

I couldn’t process all of what I had done tonight properly. It kept coming back to me and I wished it wasn’t real, I wish that Jarei didn’t put me in this type of position at all. What would I tell Heaven when she got older.

“Put on some clothes so we can talk.” My parents loosened their grip on me, and we all gave who I assumed was Matthew’s dad my attention. My eyes felt super heavy as I nodded my head and shifted my attention to Matthew. His jaws kept clenching as he kept cracking his knuckles. It looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back. I could tell by the wild look in his eyes that he was struggling and battling with something mentally.

His presence was felt, but he seemed like he was tuned into something else as I stood and made my way slowly to his room to grab something to cover my body properly.

I paused and broke down at the sight of Heaven still sleeping peacefully. She didn’t seem bothered at all in her sleep, so I gathered my emotions and made my way to the dresser to get something to put on. Matthew’s white beaters fit me comfortably, so I put that on and grabbed a white shirt to put over that. I found some basketball shorts that kind of fitted too tight because of my wide hips but still managed to get them on.

When I walked back to the family room everyone including Matthew was gone except his father. His gray eyes reminded me so much of Matthew’s, but his stare down was more intense and intimidating.

“My name is Praise, I’m Matthews father.” I took a seat and swallowed down hard.

“I wanted to talk to you, because if anybody could relate to some shit similar to what you did tonight, it’s me.” He sat up in the loveseat and grabbed a glass that was filled with brown liquor. He took a couple of sips and I remained silent.

“I killed my first born, mother. Mattea, I killed her mother. I was apprehensive at first.” He stopped talking to take another sip.

“Why?” I wanted to know now.

“Well, I wasn’t apprehensive because she was my first kill.” He smiled, chilling me to the bone. “I was apprehensive because she was my daughter’s mother, and I didn’t want her blood on my hands. I tried to avoid the shit to the very end, I even gave her a good last meal. Her favorite meal before I let her fend for herself and try to let her make a way out. It was lots of Piranhas and shit.” He took down the rest of whatever was left in his cup and didn’t even make a face like it was too strong.

“I have to give it to her though, she fought it to the very end. Until she grew too weak to fight off her fate. I don’t feel any remorse because the bitch played a dangerous game. See fucking with some one like me or my kids is like signing the rights to your life away, if you thinking about doing some foul ass shit. Like I was saying, I only felt apprenhisive because I knew that one day, I would have to own up to what I did to the one person that matter the most to me. My daughter, I mean what parent wants to tell their kid some shit like that?” I looked around the room because now I was scared shitless. He let out a small laugh and burped loudly.

“Chill, I’m not saying this shit to scare you. I’m saying it because that’s the only way, me and my son see things. Including my daughter. Justice is served by our hands and minds. I didn’t want that for my kids but look at me. The only sane person they got is my wife. You, I can see it now, you’re going to let this shit eat you up and you can’t let it do that. I personally think it was better for you to kill that nigga because if I had got my hands on him or my son… you would never look at us the same. You need to think of the pro’s and con’s that comes with the situation. Would he have ever stopped being a foul ass nigga? How far would he go? If he gave a fuck about you, would he have pushed you to this point? You know what I mean Praylah.” I wiped the tears that trickled down my face and put my big girl pants on because I was getting what he was getting at.

“I looked at the pro’s and cons of killing my baby mother, I felt it was the right thing to do and I still feel that way till this day. My daughter didn’t need a virus like her raising her to be a nothing ass conniving bitch. That bitch tried to destroy me, a nigga like me can’t be destroyed unless God himself comes and take me.”

“I just feel so guilty, that girl… was pregnant, she was innocent.” My heart ached.

“So were you. She knew that about you, just like you knew that about her. Did she try to help you? There are no justifications. She was a casualty at war.” He shrugged. I chewed on my nails out of nervousness thinking about how all of this would play out.

“I’m going to go to jail.” My face balled up at going away forever. Again, Praise chuckled like what I said had amused him.

“Jail should be the furthest thing on your mind. Then again, I can understand your concerns but what you have to realize is that my son is connected to powerful people. There will be no traces of Sosa, he was wanted by someone that he harmed the night of him taking you against your will. As far as the pregnant girl. I think it’s best if I leave her details out. I think you should look at all of this as a sign to get better and do better for your daughter. That doesn’t have to include my son either.” His eyes grew dark.

“I don’t know your intentions with him and he’s very delicate in my eyes. He was willing to go to war behind you and from how he talks about you, I know without a doubt that he’s in love with you. I don’t need you to be some sort of distraction. I need him to get better so he can live his life the best way he needs to with his condition.” My heart cracked because I didn’t want to mess up Matthew’s will to get better.

“I’m not saying to leave him alone forever, but I do think you both need time apart to become better. You have to heal after all you went through tonight. Ms. Scott has resources to help you along the way. You have two parents that are also open to guide you like me and my wife is willing to do for our son. If Matthew sees you super weak and down like you are now then he’s gonna break the agreement we had for him to leave tomorrow afternoon. It’s been a long time coming for this with Matt. I try my hardest to let my kids live their own lives, but…. I have to intervene to make sure my son won’t further mess himself up with that mind of his like I almost did.”

“I want him to get better too.” I wiped at a tear that fell down my cheek.

“Good. Then you won’t have a problem giving him his meds tonight and leaving in the morning since he will sleep for a long time.” He scooted forward and dug in his pant pocket. Pulling out a pill bottle he placed two in his hand and held it out for me to get up and get.

I took the pills from him and went back to my seat. Swallowing that painful lump that started to build in my throat.

“Those pills will help him rest well tonight. It will also have his mood good for in the morning. Your parents will stay the night so that you can go and stay with them or wherever you will like. I gave them a card loaded with and unlimited amount of money and you can take some time off of work to do whatever you need to do.” I thanked him and told him that I didn’t need the money.