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A big part of me understanding her was because just like her, my trust was fucked up too. I had been played and hurt like she had. I understood that she didn’t want to move too fast. I was willing not to be too aggressive with her and place claims so fast just because she was pregnant with my baby. I was excited to become a father and planned on being there every step of the way. I also wanted to respect Era’s boundaries and still make sure she continues her success as a singer.

“You got to prove to her that, that’s not the only thing you want from her. You ask a woman if you could come to her house then their minds automatically start thinking of you trying to get some. It’s clear y’all like each other so take the time and prove to her that you want to get to know her as well. How about you ask her if she would like to go out to grab something to eat.” He reasoned and that opened me up a little more.

“She said she doesn’t feel good.” Taking her out to eat wouldn’t be smart because she would more than likely throw the shit up.

“All right well text her back and tell her you not trying to fuck her. Tell her your concerned and you would just like to come take care of her and bring her something like ginger ale and crackers to make her feel better.” I texted her with raised brows, feeling nervous hoping I didn’t sound thirsty as hell.

“How you know all of this?” Roberto shrugged.

“I dealt with Sovereign, when she was pregnant. Plus, I have a lot of girlfriends. You know what I mean girl’s that’s friends and some women that I thought I knocked up. I just know what a woman loves, likes, and hates. I’m real player for that.” My phone pinged and it was Era sending me a list of things with a heart emoji. I smiled at being able to make her happy and stood up ready to rush to the store like a love-sick puppy to get my pregnant girl what she wanted. My pregnant girl sounded good, damn, I couldn’t believe that I really had a baby on the way.

“I’ll be back through tomorrow, don’t worry I won't tell Sovereign or Inferno that yo ass been in here lying like you still in a coma. I’ll let your dramatic ass reveal yourself.” I chuckled as Roberto smacked his lips.

“Do you think I should lay like this.” He lowered his bed and interlocked his hands like he was in a casket.

“Nah, cause then they gone know that you been lying.” We said our goodbyes and I left their big ass mansion. On the way out the door, I bumped into Debo and some other chick that he was with.

“What’s good?” I slapped hands and pulled him close for a brotherly hug. I already gave Inferno the run down about me and Debo and all the business we had planned. I also understood shit better from Era, about Praylah’s crazy ass nigga. When everything went down, Inferno wasn’t trying to hear shit. The only thing he focused on was the fact that his brother had been shot and he took that as war signs.

“Shit, bout to check on my homie then go handle some shit.” He didn’t look like himself, instead of being dressed up in designer he rocked all black down to the steel toe boots on his feet. The pretty dark skin chick he was with rocked tight black jeans with a graphic shirt that had Biggie Smalls on it. The shirt said trust no one, her face was void of any emotions as she looked at me coldly with her steely gray eyes.

“This my sister, Reaper. Reaper this my boy Soulful.” She nodded her head just like a nigga and I nodded my head right back at her.

“Soulful Hurtz, the football player. My husband’s favorite team.” It looked like she was trying to offer a smile but that shit seemed tight as hell so I smirked back at her. I still had to get used to people referring to me as some NFL star when I used to be nothing but a grimy dusty street nigga.

“After I handle this business and bring this nigga to yo bro, I’ll be going away to take care of some important shit. We will be discussing shit over the phone for this season and I got one of my boys to assist you with my team. I’ll just be gone for like a month.” He said it like he didn’t really want to even go away.

“He will be gone for three to five months.” His sister corrected him, just as he tucked his clutched fist in his pants pocket.

“Yea, three months, maybe more.” He shook his head hard like something was in his scalp bothering him. He looked around then gave me his eyes again. Era mentioned that something was mentally wrong with him and now I could see that shit from the wild look he was now giving me. I wasn’t judging, we all had some shit going on. All you could really do is pray for folks peace and sanity.

“Fasho big dog, handle yo candle. You know I’m down and excited for this opportunity.” We slapped hands again and I walked out the door ready to get to Era.

Chapter Thirty-One

ERA

“Pregnant!” My mom yelled into the phone and I cringed at the way she sounded like she was highly disappointed in me. Today just wasn’t a good day for me. I was worried about my best friend and the last call we had together. She sounded like she was in a lot of distress. The only thing that eased me and Ju’well was Debo ensuring us that she would be fine and he would see to it.

Ju’well was really depressed over Honor getting shot. She wasn’t doing to well, and I felt like we all needed some form of therapy. I have never in my life witnessed something so traumatic. So much blood and dead bodies that I was stuck in a trance when it happened. It’s like a that exact moment it didn’t feel real to me. Everything seemed like a bad nightmare but it was indeed real. Seeing Roberto and Honor non-responsive and being in the back of that ambulance still stuck with me.

I had my mom up my ass about why I haven’t been by so I decided to just lay everything out to her and do it over the phone so she didn’t cut up in front of me. I wasn’t even getting my proper rest from waking up being sick throwing up or having cold sweats from chilling nightmares from that night. I also had to pull it together because tomorrow I had a long studio session to start on my album. My phone beeped and it was Soulful sending a picture of all the things he got me from Target.

I smiled for the first time today, I couldn’t lie it felt good knowing that he was planning on being here this whole pregnancy.

“Hello, little girl is you listening to me?” I could hear my mom keys jingling, which alerted me. “Girl I’m bout ready to go pick up Denny so we can go haunt for that nigga Devin. I’m gonna have Denny whoop his ass then I’m coming over there to get on your case for doubling back and letting that no good dog push a baby up in you!” I felt a headache coming from all her screaming so I placed the phone on speaker and sat it comfortably on my chest as I leaned back on my sofa and closed my eyes. I counted to ten and listened to my mom go on and on, breathing all hard from going in on me.

“Momma, it’s not even Devin’s baby.” I counted down from five now because I was ready for her to reenergize herself and go super in on me.

“What???? Jesus Christ! Please Lord! Tell me that I did a good job raising a smart and beautiful chocolate drop! Please tell me Lord that my daughter ain’t out here on some real hoe activities Lord! I know bringing her up around Denny pimping tail wasn’t a good example! But Lord have mercy! I taught her Lord to have a mind of her own and be responsible. She knows that she not suppose to be sleeping around and-“

“Momma please stop it!”

“Era, don’t you raise your voice to me, little girl.” I smiled, imagining my momma’s eyes being super tight right now with her lips curled all tight.

“I’m sorry momma, I wasn’t trying to. It was a mistake, but I don’t regret it. I was being irresponsible, and this is what came from that. The father of my child is a good guy.” I sighed in relief. I felt it deep in my bones that Soulful was different. I prayed that he was, because I felt so damn drawn to him.

“Era, you said that about Devin, it’s too soon to make that kind of call. Come on baby, I just don’t want to see you hurt and disappointed. These men have a way of making us women feel like we are on the top of the entire world. Then when they hurt us, they make us feel lower then low. I want you to be able to feel on top of the world by yourself, anybody else that comes into your life is just a bonus to that feeling. You are about to embark on so much baby. Things that you have wanted your entire life since you were a little girl. Let your voice heal people and make them feel good like it does for you.”