Page 13

“That’s not a good idea. I don’t know you, so I wouldn’t bring my daughter around you. Plus, that would be disrespectful to her father, don’t you think?” I could hear her clearly now; she was talking with a fucking lisp.

“I respect that and you even more, never bring a stranger around your kids when you ain’t filled the stranger danger out yet.” We both shared a laugh together.

“Why the fuck you sound like you missing teeth and shit.” I leaned my head back against the headrest and watched my slaughter boys walk out of the warehouse with duffel bags. They took care of the body that fast; my niggas were the best at what they did.

“I ummm…” That umm shit irritated the fuck out of me. I was noticing she did that shit when she was nervous about some shit. “Had an accident and my two front teeth were knocked out.” Hanging the phone up in her face, I called Era while starting my car.

“Yes, Mr. Brownston?” Era sounded all perky but my mind was on murder.

“Praylah… she at work?” I got right to the point skirting out the parking lot.

“No, she didn’t come in, she hurt herself doing something at home. I gave her a couple of days off.” Hanging up in her face, I jumped on the freeway just as my annoying ass sister was calling me.

“Fuck you want, Tea?” I had tunnel vision trying to maneuver through traffic to make it to Praylah.

“You big dick head! Daddy has been calling your nutty stupid ass, and you been dodging all of us! That’s not how you treat people that care about you dummy! Kachella and Keem got married last week where the fuck were you for your sister! She cried because of you and you still haven’t reached the fuck out! It’s been over a month!”

“I’ve been busy.” I nonchalantly responded but instantly felt like shit. I didn’t mean to miss Kachella’s wedding. Kachella was spoiled and sometimes I forgot she was even a triplet to my brothers. I would cut a big check just to get back in my little sister good graces and make this shit up.

“I swear Matthew; sometimes you act like you don’t have a family. We can see it clearly that you’re battling something. It hurt me that you act like you can’t even come to me and if not me at least daddy.” Her voice softened, which was rare as fuck. Mattea was as heartless as I was. She just started having a heart for things when she got married and had kids of her own.

“I gotta sort my shit out, once I do, I’ll be open to talk.” I loved the fuck out of my family but they made me feel incapable of standing on my own shit as a man. I had a problem with accepting and receiving help from anyone. Our father was very controlling when it came to our lives. Not wanting to see us fail or walk in the light that he had made him paranoid. He constantly rode us hard and stayed all in our mix. When I got old enough to make my own money I did just that.

I wasn’t about to let our dad control me with money so I had my own whenever he decided to cut my running faucet off for not listening to whatever it was that he wanted us to do.

“Too late for that dick head! Daddy will be at your house later with Momma. I’ll be right there cheering him on when he beats your ass.” She beat me at what I did best and that was hanging right up in my face. Since they knew that I would be at my other house because I didn’t like being in the same house as Lakendra, I decided to switch shit up tonight and go to my main house where Lakendra was just so I could dodge my family drama.

I got to Praylah house in thirty minutes, knocking at her door like I was twelve. I waited but I didn’t have the patience to just stand here and wait any longer. Shaking my head for what I was getting ready to do, I prepared to knock her door down. I stopped when I heard her locks clicking, indicating that she was aware that someone was at the door. Slowly opening the door with shades covering her eyes and a mask covering her eyes, she kept the door cracked with just her face sticking out.

“Umm, Matthew?” She nervously moved her head, angling it to look around me like she was shook.

“You can’t be here.” Her tone was hasty like she wanted me to leave. I could feel my jaw clenching tight. I calmed myself but still I felt myself ready to explode. Cracking my neck, I started out speaking slowly.

“You ain’t had no accident Ma, step to the side let me in so I can look at you.” I tried to talk as comforting as possible. Lowkey, I didn’t really want to see what she was hiding. If it was severe, it would probably send me in a rage that I didn’t possibly need.

I could feel her vibes of pain, that shit radiated through me making my stomach hurt. Kill! Kill! Kill! that voice in my head was raging making it hard for me to concentrate. I watched her shoulders go down in defeat. She opened her door and stepped all the way to the side.

Allowing me in her space, I looked around slowly. From what I could see she had been shacking in her living room. The balled-up tissues thrown about on her couch and floor had indicated that she was heartbroken in stuck in depression. Her black out curtains had the place dim and a stench crossed my nose causing me to turn and look over at her.

“When the last time you washed your ass, Praylah.” I didn’t want to hurt her feelings; I didn’t know how to really even ask her the question nicely. My whole life I had been blunt, but something about her made me want to word things in a way that didn’t come through as mean. She was as fragile as glass and I didn’t want to crack and possibly shatter her when she was already damaged and hurt.

Praylah had on dingy sweatpants and a worn-out-looking spaghetti strap white shirt. The stains on her shirt made me believe that she had been blowing her nose on her shirt, just not giving a fuck because she thought she was all alone. Damn, I was seeing her in one of her elements that probably required her to take whatever medication that could help her boost the way she was feeling up. Maybe I could make it better on my own, I didn’t really know what the fuck I should be doing at this very moment.

“I don’t know when I showered, I don’t care.” She shrugged and flopped down on the couch. “I don’t even want company Matthew. I just want to be alone right now. My body hurts and my mind is weak right now.” She sighed through the mask.

“That’s too bad, I’m here to help you Pray. Take that mask and those glasses off so I can help you.”

“I don’t want help; I want to feel how I feel right now. I don’t even know why you seem to be interested in me. I’m a dirty ass bitch, I’m always depressed, and whenever I feel like I ain’t worth shit I treat myself like shit and I don’t bathe. I don’t have the energy to even clean my own ass. I let people walk all over me cause I don’t have the strength to even challenge a person good enough, that’s why you in my house.” She chuckled dryly. “A total fuckin’ stranger, in my house. Well, my boss in my house, seeing the real me. You should just leave before I disgust you. I’m not those picture-perfect bitches that you’re used to. I get yeast infections if I eat the wrong foods, my panties ain’t always clean looking. My own man won’t fucking touch me and haven’t touched me in months. Maybe close to a year. I ain’t shit, Matthew. You too perfect, for a woman like me.” She gasped then swallowed down hard. Rocking back and forth holding herself like she didn’t want to lose whatever grip of sanity that she had left she looked away from me.

I didn’t know what to do, I felt like searching for whatever love I had inside of me and pouring it all into her. The confidence I had and whatever other good things that I had locked away in the depth of my soul, I wanted to give it all to Praylah. She shouldn’t even feel the way that she was feeling.

The nigga that she was with knew that Praylah had a problem. Pussy nigga played on that shit, instead of elevating and helping her through her storm.

I walked away from her and went searching for her bathroom. First step was finding whatever medicine it was that she took and trying to give it to her. This shit had me feeling like this was some type of deja vu, my mom used to have to tend to my father just like this giving him his meds when he was on edge. I found her bathroom and decided to start her up a shower.

Going through her bathroom drawers I found her medicine. Walking out of her bathroom I walked back to the living room and stood still. Praylah’s glasses and mask was off and I got an instant headache as memories came speeding through my brain. Her eyes were swollen and underneath her left eye was blue, red and purple. Her lips were puffy as hell like someone suctioned the fuck out of them.

I felt nauseous because it felt like my past was right in front of my face. That bitch fucked your enemy! Don’t go soft and act like we were in the wrong!