Page 165 of Devoured

“What do we do now, Calix?” I ask, finally shattering our peaceful silence. “What comes next?”

“For this court? The faeries will ease our transition back to normal. They’ll probably stay a bit longer to monitor us and make sure we don’t devolve into madness again. There are magical laws and traditions we need to return to upholding, while the other courts send courtiers to help us clean up our mess.” My head spins with the information, with knowledge of everything to come. And I want to ask him about it—about if those other courts have forgiven us, if they’ll spare us—but I can’t.

“A new Ascension will need to take place. A new regent will need to be chosen.” His voice tightens then, and I sit up, clutching his jacket close around me. Before I can blurt out any of my questions, he says flatly, “Evander asked me to do it. He said being King of Castle Severi is my birthright. He said the faeries trust me, and they could force the other courts to work with me.”

I stare at him, mouth closing abruptly.

King.

King Calix Severi of the North American Court.

I shake my head in awe, yet the tension in his jaw makes me hesitate. “You’re… going to be king?”

When his gaze collides with mine, those eyes remain a deep, fathomless plum red. He shakes his head. “No. I guess when Cora died, it transferred to me. The position and the power. For a second, I could feel it. Like my own power was splitting open to make room for it. But I refused.” He sighs. “I was never meant to be king of this place. There are people better than me out there. More educated. More compassionate. They should be the regent. I told Evander I’d stay to help the transition, but after that… he’s going to give me his permission to join a different pack elsewhere. A lesser pack. No more of this nobility bullshit.”

“Oh.”

I recoil slightly. For some reason, this final declaration hurts. But of course Calix won’t stay here. Without Sin, these halls will be haunted for him.

I just wish that didn’t mean he was leaving me.

If Sin is gone, and Calix is gone… where do I belong? Though I search his face for the answer—for an invitation, maybe—he gives none. And that hurts too. It shouldn’t, but it does.

“What about you, Vanessa Hart?” he asks. “Where will you go?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, tearing my gaze away. After all this time—after all the schemes and imprisonment and torture—I never gave a single thought as to what the future meant. “I never thought I’d make it out of this place alive.”

He nudges me gently. “Your powers will make you attractive for other packs, other courts. If you have high aspirations, you could try to become the regent. I could talk to Evander—”

“God, no,” I blurt. “Absolutely not. I don’t want to be queen. Ever.” The thought makes me sick, and I cast it away in search of something that doesn’t. “I just want… normalcy. I want to feel safe in my home and be able to buy groceries in the store again, and to—to stop watching everyone around me die.” My eyes drift back to the pyres, to where Sin’s ashes still smolder in the darkness. “If it’s even possible.”

“It is. It will be.” Calix weaves his fingers through mine, and I lean back against him. “Normalcy sounds like a great plan.”

He doesn’t say the rest, however. Doesn’t say what we’re both thinking.

That our paths can’t collide forever. At some point, they will weave away from each other. Calix can’t remain in the shadow of his familial trauma for eternity, and I am just a reminder of his pain. I’m going to lose him too. I know it, I feel it, and the hole in my chest yawns impossibly deeper.

“To normalcy, then.”

“To whatever life awaits us,” he agrees.

Neither of us cries, but a lump rises in my throat regardless. I’m going to miss him. I’m going to miss him so, so much. We should have had more time. I should have stopped hating him sooner.

“I’m sorry, Calix,” I say. “For everything we’ve gone through.”

“Me too, Hart,” he breathes, resting his cheek upon my head again. “More than you’ll ever know.”

A beautiful, heartbreaking truth.

“Thank you for giving me three strikes all those months ago. For protecting me instead of killing me.”

He chuckles at that. “I told you that you were a threat. I wasn’t wrong.”

I think about the schemes with Evie. The poison and the dungeon and even the battle. “No, I guess you weren’t.”

“You are capable of anything,” he says fiercely. “Never forget that. This life can be whatever you make it. Don’t give up, Vanessa. Fight it. The pain and whatever else you go through. Keep fighting.”

My entire body stills at those words.