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She bites her lip and scratches her head with her cigarette-toting hand. “How you been? Heard you, uh … got a job working at Blackthornes.”
Instead of answering, I let her keep on with her one-sided conversation. I have no interest in telling her anything.
“Midge says you been spending a lot of time with Lucian Blackthorne.” A smile creeps across her lips as she raises her cigarette. “Like mother, like daughter, eh?”
“I’m nothing like you.”
“You’re more like me than you know,” she says around a mouthful of smoke that she blows off to the side. Her gaze falls to the bracelet on my wrist, and I’d be willing to bet she’s calculating how much coke she’d score for what it’s worth. “That’s a whole lot of power for a girl so young. Be careful with a man like that.”
As if she has any room to advise me on men. “So, what is this? Redemption? You think a little cash is going to make up for dumping me on her doorstep?”
“I’m … just trying to make things right. Get my shit together.”
“Why bother? You’re halfway to the grave. Why turn around now?”
“I want … I want my family back. I want you back, Izzy.”
“Don’t hand me that bullshit. I know exactly why you’re here. You found out I was with Lucian Blackthorne and you decided it might be an opportunity for you.”
“No. No, that’s not true. In fact, I think you should stay away from that whole fucked-up family.”
“I’m sure. Except it was Lucian who got you out of trouble the last time.”
She stares back at me confused, as if it’s the first time she’s hearing this. “What’s that in your hands?”
“Nothing.”
“My yearbook? What for?”
“You want to do me a favor, Mother? I’ll give you one chance. One opportunity. You want to make things right and be a family again? Tell me who my father is.”
Turning her face away from mine, she flicks the ash into the ashtray again, and when she brings the cigarette to her lips, I catch the tremble in her hands. “I can’t do that.”
“Why? Because you fucked so many men you have no idea who he is?”
“Because he’s a piece of shit who never deserved to be in your life.”
“Ah, perfect. You two made the perfect match, then.”
She snorts a laugh and bites her lip, the way she does when her pride has been wounded. “You’re right. Maybe I should’ve stayed with him.” Jaw shifting, she sniffs and drags her arm across her nose. “I couldn’t, though. I refused to stay on this shithole island with him.”
“You’re selfish. You’ve always been selfish. And this crap about having a family again? It’s just that: a steaming pile of dog shit.”
“You don’t understand, Izzy. I didn’t …. I’m … not telling you because of me. That’s not what I meant to do.”
“Do you hear yourself? How ridiculous you sound? The drugs have warped your head so much. Whatever you were in this …” I hold the yearbook up in the air. “Isn’t who you are now.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right. That girl is gone. Long gone.”
“I’m out of here. Lock the door when you leave. And do Aunt Midge and I a favor--lose the fucking key. I don’t need you, Mother. The little girl who did is gone now, too. Long gone.”
My blood pulses with white hot fury, as I slam through the front door and cut across the neighbor’s lawn. The walk back is riddled with confusion and anger, and I don’t immediately notice the sleek, black Bentley parked at the corner, about a block ahead of me, until its lights flick on.
“Shit!” I slam to a halt and bang a right through the adjacent park, running across the massive stretch of lawn, until I have to stop and catch my breath. Bending forward, I force deep inhales and long exhales, trying to settle my nerves.
The darkness settles over me, and in the silence, I clamp my eyes to the mishmash of information pounding at my skull. I want to cry, but I won’t.
Get it together, Isa.
