Page 34 of After We Fall

That’s it. She’ll get down the road, realize what she’s done, and she’ll come back.

“I had an aunt,” I answer, “but she didn’t want me. There wasn’t any money in it for her.”

He squeezes my hand. “You said you were adopted.”

“Not immediately. My first foster family had me for six months. I got sick—expensive. They started paperwork to put me back in the system before I got out of the hospital.” I rub my chilly arms and strain on my tiptoes to search farther down the empty road.

“Where did you go next?”

“Group home.” I sigh. “I waited. I waited so long. Who wants to adopt an emotional teenager? It’s too much of a risk. So I learned not to become a risk. Do exactly as I was told. Be needless. Wantless. Find something useful I can offer. Show my worth.”

A car turns the bend and comes into view. I hold my breath, but it doesn’t slow. I cannot fathom this has happened. “All Finley had to do was stay,” I whisper.

“But you have an adoptive family now.”

“Yes. I was sixteen. A California state senator and his wife. What better way to appear generous than by adopting two unwanted teenagers? But I showed them. I showed them my value. Excelled at everything they needed me to be.” I make a fist and press it to my chest. “I was a perfect addition to the picture-perfect family of Senator Nelson and his wife. We were. We were the perfect addition. Jason and me.”

Luke stands perpendicular to me, scrutinizing my face.

I can’t hold his stare, so I squint and keep watching for headlights. “All she had to do was stay. She thinks Marcus is her family. If she stayed, she would have a true, safe family.”

“That means you were in the group home for about four years. What wasn’t safe there?” Luke’s gentle tone infiltrates my thoughts, coaxing me to answer.

I rub the scar above my eyebrow, the reminder of my unstable roommate and her baseball bat. “It’s okay. Jason made me safe.”

He places his solid, warm hand at the small of my back.

“Finley was safe,” I whisper, the soft easterly breeze carrying my words. “She only had to choose to stay.”

I’ve lost Finley. Her life will derail, possibly in ways that are permanent.

And when Meredith returns to discover Finley gone . . .

I’ve taken away part of Meredith’s family. Something unforgivable, considering her history.

I should not have talked to Marcus today. It cost me Finley.

Cold seeps through me. It cost me everything. Now I won’t be able to apply for program director.

My chin trembles, and I bite my lower lip to contain the pain.

I’ll offer my resignation. Search for a new home.

Because family is always a fantasy. Something in songs. In dreams.

Unobtainable.

9

Today has been a special brand of misery. After a night of tossing and turning, I hoped my Sunday routine would soothe my weary bones.

The repetition of yoga attempted to stretch my worry into submission. The steaming shower tried to pound out my anxious thoughts. Even a certain cargo pants–wearing man couldn’t distract me from my concern for Finley.

Nothing helped.

But per my usual, I put one foot in front of the other. Moved forward. Completed the next step. Hoping that the progression might lead me to Finley. To an apology. A do-over.

Her return.