Page 56 of Counting Down To You

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, because although it’s not the same, it’s still a kind of grief, isn’t it?

“Don’t be. I had a great childhood—and my parents have always been there for me. I just meant, I think I wanted a sibling because I thought it would be easier, to have someone who was always there, who kind of always had to be there, no matter what. Someone who knew the ins and outs of you, that kind of thing.”

I sigh. “It’s not like that with my brother and me.”

Call your brother.

“No. I guess it’s not for everyone.” He looks up to the sky, where the sun is continuing its slow descent behind the mountain peaks. “We better go back soon.”

“Right. Skiing in the dark, not ideal I imagine.”

“You can do it on the floodlit slopes—but I’m not sure you’re there yet.”

“I am most definitely not there,” I agree firmly.

He gets to his feet, reaches down a gloved hand. I take it, allowing him to pull me up. He doesn’t immediately let go, and my whole body hums with awareness, despite the fact I can’t feel his skin. He lifts his free hand to brush away something from my hair. The nerve endings down the back of my neck explode as his green eyes find mine.

“Snow in your hair,” he murmurs, holding his hand up as if to prove it.

I don’t say anything, because his gaze is still holding mine in a way that makes it impossible to. His eyes drop briefly to my mouth, and my breathing hitches.

Then, abruptly, he lets go of my hand and steps back, moving his sunglasses down over his eyes. I try to control the wave of disappointment that rolls through me. Of course he hadn’t been about to kiss me. Stupid, to get carried away like that.

He moves to where we propped up our skis and hands mine over, waiting to see if I need any help before clipping on his own. I’m sure I’m imagining the new awkwardness that fills the quiet space between us. But that doesn’t stop me from casting around frantically for something to say.

“So what’s the deal with you and Burgers?” It’s the first thing I can think of, and it seems a relatively safe topic.

He looks up from where he’s finishing attaching his skis. “The deal?”

“Yeah. He seems to like you—well, more than the rest of us anyway.”

Leo snorts quietly, and some of the tension abates at the sound. “I don’t know if like is the right word, but we’re…friends, I guess.”

“Seems hard to be friends with someone if they don’t like you.”

“Have you met him?” My turn to snort-laugh. “So how are you getting on, on the hiking front?” he asks, and I wonder if he, too, has latched on to this as a safe topic.

“Ah…He sort of left me hanging on that.”

“Yeah.” Leo sighs. “That doesn’t surprise me.” He frowns into the distance, not making a move to start skiing yet. “It should really be on him, to make this work. If he’s serious about starting up the hiking business again. I don’t want to offer it to guests and then him not follow through—and he hasn’t wanted to do it since the year before last. I haven’t even been on one of the hikes, so I can’t say if they’re any good. But…” His frown deepens, then he reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out his phone. “I’m sending you his number.” He already has mine, because of the staff WhatsApp group. “If it’s something you’re interested in too, then get in touch with him. He needs all the help he can get, even if he won’t accept it. As the hotel manager, I probably shouldn’t encourage it. But as his friend…” He slips his phone back into his pocket, blows out a breath that mists the air in front of him. “He was there for me last year, when I needed someone—and he’s had a tough year himself. I won’t go into details, as it’s not my place, but if he wants to do this…Well, let’s just say it would be nice to see him have some purpose again.” He picks up his poles, looks toward me. “Only if you want to, though. It’s your call—I know he’s not easy. If it helps, he has reason to be the way he is, but I realize that doesn’t stop him being a dick.”

I laugh as he hands me my own poles. It would be nice, I think, to get out hiking again. And, yes, Burgers is grumpy, but I’ve had my fair share of grumpy in recruitment. I’m sure I can handle one man.

I glance at Leo as we push away toward the top of the ski slope. “It’s salted caramel, by the way.”

He frowns. “What is?”

“My favorite flavor of ice cream.”

He laughs—a real one, unencumbered. I grin at the sound. “Okay. Noted. Will you think I’m boring if I admit mine’s chocolate?”

I snort. “Boring isn’t a word I’d use to describe you, Leo.”

He looks at me, and though I can’t see his eyes, he’s smiling. “Well, that’s something at least.”

I try to hold on to that smile as we ski down the mountain. Try to be glad of the friendship we’re developing. But although I really do try, all my mind keeps circling back to is the way he’d deliberately stepped back from me, when I thought he was going to kiss me.

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