Page 105 of Counting Down To You

Chapter

32

To her credit, when I message my mum in the early hours of the morning, asking if it’s okay if I bring a random man home for Christmas, all she comes back with is: If he’s important to you, I’d love to meet him. Might be a good thing anyway. Graham over ordered the Brussels sprouts.

So it is that I arrive at Mum’s house with Leo in tow, after perhaps not so casually asking if he wanted to spend the day with me. I’d fallen asleep with his arms round me last night, listening to the beat of his heart against mine. And because it’s Christmas, because he only has one more day before he has to fly back to Châtel, it feels right that we spend it together. Especially as it turns out he was lying about spending it with his parents because his parents, not having expected him back in the UK, had booked an all-inclusive stay at a resort in Cyprus for the holidays.

After Mum lets us in, hugging first me, then Leo, I manage to run upstairs and change, Mum tactfully not commenting on the fact that I’m still in my dress from the night before. I don’t look directly at the calendar on my bedside table. At the one square left to open. I’ll do it later. Because in my mind, opening this final square will mean losing not one but two people.

Everyone, including James and Steph, his girlfriend, is in the kitchen when I come back downstairs. Graham is handing around fizz, and Leo seems to have already struck up a conversation with Steph—who, it turns out, is a small, slightly pixie-like brunette, with a brilliantly loud laugh. Well, at least there are two of them here who have never met anyone—though Steph had more than an hour to prepare for it. Happy Christmases are exchanged all round, then James and Graham chat by the hob, where they start cooking the blinis, while Mum comes over to me, sliding an arm through mine.

“It’s so lovely to have you here.” She looks at Leo, who is nodding along to something Steph is saying, Buck’s fizz in one hand, looking as at ease as if he were chatting to a guest in the hotel. Mum lowers her voice. “I take it this is the man you didn’t think you should have fallen for.”

Right. I’d sort of forgotten I let that slip in my outburst when I first arrived home. Mum smiles. “You don’t have to tell me about it. Just know that if at any point you want to, I’m here, okay? But, for now, I’m so glad we all get to spend Christmas together.”

Midway through blinis with cream cheese and smoked salmon, my phone buzzes. It is a message from Robyn’s mum, lighting up the screen.

Happy Christmas, Ali. It’s lovely to hear from you. I hope you’re doing okay, too. It would be lovely to see you some time. Have a good day. Elena. X

It’s a very standard message, but I can imagine how hard it might have been to write. I’ll make time to see her. For Robyn, I’ll make the time.

“Right!” Mum declares with a clap of her hands. “Presents!”

The six of us settle in the living room to open the presents under the tree. There’s not enough sofa space, so I sit on the floor, leaning my head against Leo’s legs, while James perches on the arm of the sofa next to Steph. All my Christmas shopping was done very last minute, for obvious reasons, and other than Mum I had no idea what to get anyone, but I reckon I’ve done pretty well. A new throw blanket for Mum, garden vouchers for Graham, and money toward drinks at a fancy cocktail bar in London for Steph and James, for whenever they’re back again—which, James promises effusively after opening the card, will be very soon.

The only person I haven’t bought anything for is Leo, given I hadn’t planned on spending Christmas with him. He, however, hands me a card after I’ve opened my other presents—a course of yoga classes from Mum and Graham, and a small painting from James and Steph, all the way from Singapore, a beautiful landscape with vibrant colors. A surprisingly thoughtful gift, made even more so when Steph pipes up with, “He saw it and thought of you, so I told him he had to buy it,” causing James to look embarrassed and me to feel slightly emotional.

When the others get up to make their way to the kitchen, all-hands-on-deck for lunch prep, I stay sitting on the floor to open the card from Leo.

It’s a simple Christmas card, with a short note inside.

Whatever happens next, I’ll always be glad I met you. Thank you for these last few weeks, and for reminding me that living in the moment doesn’t have to mean closing your eyes to the future.

There is a lump in my throat, and when I look up Leo is by the doorway, waiting for me. He meets my gaze, the corner of his mouth lifting as he does. I hope the nod I give him somehow conveys what I’m feeling. That I think I understand why he couldn’t find a way to tell me sooner. That these last few weeks, and doing the challenges with him, has meant so much to me. And most of all that, despite everything, I’m glad I met him too. I think it does, because when I stand and cross to where he’s waiting for me, he kisses the top of my head, then takes my hand to follow the others together.

In the kitchen, I find myself on Brussels-sprout-trimming duty with Steph, while Leo peels potatoes on the other side of the table, chatting to Graham about Châtel. “If you ever come out and visit,” Leo is saying, “make sure you let me know. I’ll show you the best spots to ski.” Come out and visit. But I won’t be there, will I? Could I visit? Would it be a betrayal to Robyn to do that? Would he want me to? Or would he rather make a clean break, to make things easier?

“Oh, I don’t know,” Graham says good-naturedly, “not really sure I have it in me to be a skier.”

“Didn’t you want to try snowboarding, love?” asks my mum.

Graham’s brow furrows. “Did I? Can’t remember that.”

“Skiing’s great,” I say, surprising myself that I genuinely mean it. “And if Leo can teach me, he can teach anyone.”

“You ski now?” It comes from James, who is by the hob, on gravy duty.

“Sure,” I say. “I’m quite the pro.”

“She’s a natural,” Leo agrees easily, though he catches my eye, and his lips twitch.

“So how did you two meet?” Steph asks, directing the question at me.

“Ahh…” For some reason, I can think of no coherent answer to that.

“Ali got into a taxi I was getting out of,” Leo says. “And we ended up chatting.”

It’s technically true, but I burst out laughing. Leo grins at me.