Page 59 of The Heart You Kept

“Work.”

“It’s Sunday.” I frown. “I thought we were going out for breakfast this morning?”

“Sorry, something’s come up.” He leans down and kisses me quickly. “Call you later.” But before I even have a chance to reply, he’s disappeared down the stairs and gone. I hear the door click as he leaves.

I flop back down and put my hands over my eyes. “Shit.” Guilt is the worst feeling in the world. Pascal knows we kissed; he has to. That’s the only logical explanation for the way he’s acting.

Why did I fucking kiss him, this is not who I am.

My god.

I stare up at the ceiling for a long time, my body too tired to get up and my mind too panicked to sleep.

Forget it.

Forget everything about Edward Prescott, nothing good can come of thinking about him.

Finally I drag myself to the shower. If I’m not going to sleep or relax I may as well make use of myself and go grocery shopping.

I make my bed as I talk out loud to myself, “It’s fine…this whole situation is fine, it’s just a speed bump. It was a shock to see him, that’s all. I was surprised and overwhelmed and it will never happen again. I have a wonderful life and a beautiful boyfriend.” I punch the cushions on my bed to get them in the right shape. I punch them again for good measure.

“Everything is going to be just fine.”

When someone else lies to you, you get angry, but when you lie to yourself you’re actually just an idiot.

It’s 4 p.m. and I haven’t heard from Pascal all day, which is weird…actually, not weird, it’s a disaster, because he calls me and tells me every little detail of his day all of the time. The fact that it’s Sunday, which is our day together, only confirms what I suspect.

He knows, and I’m totally fucking screwed.

A whorebag of epic proportions and to make matters worse all I can do is think about Edward fucking Prescott, it’s taken every ounce of my strength not to google him today. But all that’s going to prove is that I’m an actual asshole.

I dial Pascal’s number. Ring, ring…ring, ring.

“Bonjour,” he answers.

My heart sinks, he had his phone on him but didn’t call me. “Hi. Where are you?”

“Just leaving work now.”

“Are you coming over?”

He exhales. “Ummm.”

“Do you want to go out for dinner.” I cut him off. “I think we need to talk.”

“We do, that’s a good idea.”

My eyes widen, oh my god…he does know.

“Okay,” I reply. “Will you pick me up?”

“About seven.”

“See you then.”

“Yep.” He hangs up without saying another word.

Without a thought, I do what I said I wasn’t going to do. I google: